


Arrow to the Knee

by flying_frappe



Category: Love Live! School Idol Festival (Video Game), Love Live! School Idol Project
Genre: Angst, F/F, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, bdsm will be later on in the story, dominatrix!Kotori, dont worry its not all smut, honoka is always a third wheel but she doesn't care anymore, kotori has a huge facade but she's still a good person, like ten chapters later because umi is too pure and dense for this world, nozomi is all knowing but no one knows how, slow burn more like soul burn, there isn't enough kotoumi centric fics they're always side stories so I'm going to make it FLOOD
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-28
Updated: 2018-06-18
Packaged: 2018-11-19 22:09:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 21,502
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11322696
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flying_frappe/pseuds/flying_frappe
Summary: The concept of love was something Sonoda Umi never quite understood. Since she was little, Umi had always surrounded herself with the duties, expectations, and responsibilities her parents placed upon her. But there comes one night where Umi and her childhood friend are reunited, and from their encounter she'll learn that love takes the mind, the heart, and the body.-Hiatus has ended!-





	1. Of Unpleasant Dreams and Surprises

_Sonoda Umi was a girl that always placed other people's needs before her own, which gained her the admiration of many adults, students, and teachers in her school. She took it upon herself to fill those expectations no matter how high they were, and prided herself for her abilities to remain thoughtful and self-sacrificing for the ones she cared for._

 

_But today, she couldn’t help but feel a pang of selfishness that came from her childhood friend's words._

 

_“Umi-chan, I received an invitation to go a school of fashion and design.”_

 

 _The cobalt haired girl took a couple steps back, trying to regain her composure from her friend's statement. Umi knew the implications behind that sentence and Kotori’s tone._ _Umi had wondered why the cheerful girl had_ _been so dejected the entire week, she dismissed it for some slight illness or overwork from being a student and school idol._

 

_When Kotori pulled her away from the usual μ's after school practice, Umi assumed she needed help with the new designs for the upcoming live._

 

_But this… This was something Umi was completely unprepared for._

 

_“I’m happy for you, Kotori.” Umi tries to make a genuine smile, but she knows she can’t fool Kotori. Umi pursed her lips, trying to focus on the ground rather than at the amber eyes in front of her._

 

_She knew she wanted Kotori to stay, but an opportunity like this only came once in a lifetime._

 

 _Umi struggles to find the right words to fill in the heavy silence, “You’ll have to tell Honoka and the others about this soon, maybe after the performance this week.” Umi shifted from foot to foot, and finally looks up to_ _look at Kotori’s face._

 

 _Kotori’s weak smile was all it took for Umi to regret her decision, but what else could she do?_ _She was in no position to stop Kotori from achieving her lifelong dream._

 

_They were interrupted by Eli’s voice, reminding them that it was still time for practice. The two glance at each other once more, Umi looks away forcing herself to hold back the temptation of convincing Kotori to stay._

 

 _Instead of the taupe haired girl passing by Umi like she remembers, Kotori cups her face gently and pulls her closer slowly. Umi froze in place, as if she had no control over her own body. She gasps slightly, “K-Kotori?_ _What-”_

 

* * *

 

Umi was jolted out of her dream as her alarm rang, a slight headache creeping up on her. She observed that the light from her window was waning and the sky was a deep orange hue.

 

The alarm she had set for today was scheduled at 5:30 PM, which gave her enough time to prepare herself for the venture her friends were going to tonight.

 

Despite being an early riser, she occasionally took naps during the day. Working on her college studies and maintaining the dojo has led Umi with less hours of sleep than she wanted.

 

When the bags under her eyes became prominent during her first year of college, the nap-taking duo advised Umi to start taking naps during her free time. Of course, she didn’t listen to Nozomi and Honoka at first, but gave in to their idea when she nearly fell asleep in the middle of her morning classes.

 

Umi decided to take on college courses a couple of years after graduation. Being heir to the dojo was all she concentrated on for three years. When her father passed away, she decided to take on a business major to handle the financial responsibility in his place.

 

It was stressful at first, but within a couple of months she managed to adjust to the new routine she placed upon herself. Her mother requested her older sister came by to help Umi maintain the dojo more often, after her mother saw the struggle Umi was having. She was always grateful for the help her mother and older sister provided.

 

She wiped beads of sweat from her face, and sighed. She’s been having the same dream for a couple of days now, but dreams weren’t something anyone could control.

 

Even though Honoka was able to stop Kotori from departing to France during her second year of high school, Kotori eventually made the decision to accept the second invitation the school gave her after she graduated. Of course, everyone supported her decision to study there. But after a couple of years, most of them have completely lost touch with the brunette.

 

Umi hasn’t seen Kotori in nearly six years. The last time she’d spoken to the girl was two years ago, when she congratulated Kotori for getting her bachelor's degree in fashion design. Umi doesn’t remember why the others had lost touch with her, but she told herself Kotori had been busy with her work and had other matters to attend.

 

Before indulging into her thoughts a bit deeper, she remembered her alarm was still ringing. Umi reminded herself she was scheduled to share the night with two other old friends she’s had since her second year of high school.

 

* * *

 

She arrived at Nozomi’s apartment at exactly 7 PM, her reputation for timeliness didn’t need to be soiled, even by a small hangout like this. She adjusted the beret she wore on her head, and took off her coat before knocking on her door.

 

An apricot haired girl quickly opened it and smiled, “So good to see nya, Umi-chan! Nozomi’s still changing in her room, so just wait a bit.”

 

Rin held a bowl of cereal in her hand, which Umi reprimanded for the seventh time this month. Nozomi didn’t mind Rin taking things out of her own kitchen, but Umi always found it unacceptable. Rin had developed an unusual habit for eating whatever was in her friend’s fridge, but no one had the heart to stop her other than herself and Maki.

 

Umi frowned a little as both of them took a seat and waited for Nozomi to arrive. She didn’t have a particular fondness over hanging out with Nozomi and Rin. Both of them were always full of surprises that only gave her more stress than she needed.

 

After their high school stunt on Umi during μ's pool meet, she’d become more a lot more guarded against their antics. Umi couldn’t afford to feel the embarrassment of fainting from a nosebleed ever again in her life. The only rational reason she didn’t reject this hangout was because Eli said she couldn’t make it, and needed someone to watch the two before they caused any problems.

 

Knowing what could happen with the mischievous duo kept unattended, Umi knew she’d be forced to keep them on a tight leash.

 

Thirty minutes later, Nozomi arrived and the three girls left the apartment to go to the city. Umi was told prior that the place they were going to was going to be exciting, but she had no clue where she was being led to. She was perfectly fine with wherever the two were planning to go.

 

That is, until they actually got there.

 

Umi pinched her thumb and finger on the bridge of her nose, her irritation (and mild embarrassment) already seeping through. She looks at both of their faces, they were wearing matching playful grins.

 

Umi resists the temptation to shout at them in the middle of the street, and settles on making her voice as gravely low as possible. “Nozomi, Rin, please tell me we’re not going in here.”

 

Rin ignored her tone and whines, “Aww, c’mon Umi! Nya need to loosen up, we brought you here because we thought you needed some cheering up!”

 

“But really… Did it have to be at a l..l-”

 

“Lesbian club? Yes.” Nozomi interrupted, her grin widening. “I know you’ve come out to us recently, so we wanted to do something special for you, Umi. Even if you don’t want to, you should at least try this out once.”

 

The thought of it made Umi shiver. It was so… shameless. She blushed, and it was evident to both of her friends that she felt a little uncomfortable by the prospect.

 

Despite this, the two brought her inside, dragging her by the arms as they searched for empty seats. Umi made sure they took her to a seat away from the crowd, and most importantly, away from attention.

 

Umi took out a small notebook within her pocket, one she brought for emergencies like this one. The loud music and flashing lights made it difficult for her to concentrate, but she tried her best to write as much as she could within it.

 

Despite μ's disbanding, the cobalt haired girl still wrote lyrics for Nico whenever she requested. Nico never bluffed about becoming an idol in the future, so when she did, she asked Umi for her lyrics whenever she needed inspiration.

 

Umi hesitated to accept at first, but she needed to make sure to receive some form of extra money to help pay off her college tuition. With her inheritance of the dojo and college studies, Umi had little to no time to spare for part time jobs.

 

During her writing, Umi became completely immersed in her own thoughts and nearly forgets that she was also here to look after Rin and Nozomi.

 

As she looked around, she realized they were both busy in another table, playing cards the purple haired girl snuck into the club. Umi returned to the task of writing lyrics. She glad to be out of the vicinity of trouble, sweaty bodies, and loud music. She mentally reminded herself to check on the two every ten minutes, just in case.

 

* * *

 

An hour later, Umi decides to take a quick break and looks for a bathroom.

 

The place was unfamiliar to her, but she didn’t want to ask anyone else she didn’t know. She decided to walk around and looked for signs near the ceiling indicating a bathroom, having to avoid some women who tried to start a conversation with her.

 

After a couple of minutes, she was able to find what she was looking for, or at least she thought so. It was a little peculiar, Umi thought, that the sign she read had only four words glowing in neon red. Another thing she noticed was that the walls and carpet were painted in a deep crimson.

 

She dismissed her thoughts and shook her head. She assumed the sign was a shortcut for the word "bathroom" and the paint was just the owner's preference.

 

Walking through the halls, she saw one door ajar. She entered and left the door wide open. It was dark, the only source of light came from outside.

 

She stepped further into the room, looking for the lightswitch on the walls of the room. The air around her smelled a lot like leather and… something she couldn’t identify.

 

Umi stopped in her tracks when she heard the door close and its lock click.

 

A dim lamp’s light was turned on from behind her. The cobalt haired girl notices a mahogany table with whips, chains, and rope- things that obviously shouted violence in her head and panic soon ebbed away at her composure. Umi feared the worst for herself. Her thoughts already painting an image of a crime scene of kidnap, assault, and maybe even murder.

 

Umi was too occupied with her observations to notice the small steps from behind her. As a hand reached her back, Umi turned and flipped them over their shoulder. The weight of the body created a loud thump, followed by a prolonged silence.

 

She closed her eyes before hearing a little voice’s groan. The groan wasn’t of a man, like she had imagined, but instead was a woman’s.

 

Surprised by the sound, she opens her eyes and a woman staring at her in pain. Recognizing her amber eyes and taupe colored hair, a name from six years ago slips out of her mouth before she could stop herself.

 

The woman must have heard her say it, because Umi visibly sees her eyes widen as she gets up from the floor.

 

Umi feels her face heat up and looks away from seeing the woman in a leather outfit that showed so much skin. She smiles at her and chuckles awkwardly before speaking.

 

“Hey Umi-chan, Kotori didn’t expect to see you here today. Long time no see, hasn’t it?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all like the story so far! Please bear with me if there are any grammatical or spelling errors, English is like, my second or third language. The idea for dominatrix!Kotori came from her diary, where she mentions she prefers seeing Umi's weak side rather than her tough one (I can provide a link if anyone wants to read it, I was pretty surprised myself). It sprung up during a midnight shower and I just had to write it out and share it here! I've had around six chapters planned out, but I'm hoping to spread it into fifteen or twenty chapters at most. Please give comments of your thoughts so far, and let me know if you have any questions, comments, or criticisms about it. d=(´▽｀)=b
> 
> If you'd like to talk about headcannons for kotoumi or just chat, just message me on tumblr: flying-frappuccino!


	2. A Circumstantial Reunion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again, everyone! 
> 
> I hope the wait for this update wasn't too long. I've decided weekly updates will be on Sundays, the sole purpose is to assert my pettiness against the church with this sin. 
> 
> P.S. Kotori's club attire is from this UR: http://i.schoolido.lu/cards/119idolizedKotori.png  
> Shoutout to my friend Tiffany who found this goldmine UR and showed it to me. This UR was love at first sight. (´∀｀)♡

Umi washed her hands in the restroom, making an effort to ignore the couple making out in the corner of her eye. She was still shaken by the events that happened half an hour ago, and Umi knew she wasn’t the only one.

 

Kotori was waiting outside the bathroom, holding an ice pack on her arm provided by one of the employees. Despite Umi’s act of self defense, Kotori still greeted the younger girl as if she hadn't just thrown her to the ground a couple minutes ago. Her arm was beginning to bruise a little from the tight grip Umi gave her, but other than that, Kotori told Umi she was alright.

 

After Kotori recovered from the fall, she helped Umi find her way to the bathroom that was on the opposite side of the club. Kotori giggled after hearing Umi’s explanation, how she had misread the sign on accident and didn’t stop to think about it until she entered the room Kotori was in.

 

One part of Umi scolded herself for leaving the Nozomi and Rin alone, but her heart shoved those thoughts away, eager catch up with with her childhood friend. Meeting her here was an unexpected gift, their reunion had been delayed for so long Umi thought she would never see Kotori again. She missed spending time with her and talking to Kotori after all these years.

 

As Umi walked outside she spotted Kotori leaning against the wall waiting for her, distracted by flashing lights and music. Umi shyly took the chance to admire how much her friend had grown, yet stayed the same.

 

Though she had been gone for six years, Kotori still wears the same signature hairstyle she’s had since childhood. When Umi first met Kotori, she found her hairstyle strange, but she eventually grew to find it charming. Umi found herself having the urge to stroke Kotori’s hair, but knew better than to let her feelings get the best of her.

 

Then there was the subject of her club attire. Though her clothes covered most of her body, the material seemed to show off her curves in a provocative manner. In most cases, she would have told Kotori to change because of how immodest it was. But...  

 

Umi couldn’t help but admit that it looked lovely on Kotori. She was captivated by the rare sight of the girl in anything other than light, frilly clothes. Umi took note of how her clothes made her look more mature. The heeled boots she wore made her taller than Umi, the dress she wore exposed her legs, and the V-shaped gap on her dress made her chest… more prominent…

 

Umi gives her own face a violent slap when she realized her eyes had wandered to Kotori’s cleavage.

 

Kotori gasps at the loud noise, and looks at Umi in surprise. “Was that you?”

 

Umi rubs her cheek, “Y-yes.”

 

Kotori gives her a puzzled look, “Why did you slap yourself?”

 

“I was- _there_ was a bug on my cheek.”

 

“But why did you slap yourself so hard…?”

 

“It was a rather large bug.”

 

“Umi-chan…”

 

“I think it was a beetle.”

 

“Pfft, are you sure?”

 

“Yes, I’m absolutely certain it was a beetle.”

 

Kotori smiles, content with Umi’s ridiculous answer. She pushes herself from the wall she was leaning against, and suddenly winces in pain. She was still holding the ice pack over her arm, her bruise was already turning into a deep purple.

 

Umi apologizes, for what seems to be the hundredth time, because of the injury she inflicted on her. Kotori tells her not to worry about it and that it really wasn’t her fault, and Umi doesn't try to argue against Kotori (Umi always loses anyways). Instead, she advises her to go to the doctor’s soon and Kotori assures her she will.

 

As they walk away from the bathroom, Kotori strikes up a conversation to lighten the mood. At one point, Kotori compliments Umi about the cute outfit she was wearing. Kotori was glad that Umi still wore the beret she gave her. Umi tries her best not to take side glances at Kotori, who’s attractive outfit was making her cheeks turn crimson. To Umi’s dismay, Kotori eventually catches her looking at the dress.

 

“Do you like it? The outfit’s made of latex.” Kotori spins in a circle, giving Umi a full view of her outfit.

 

“L-latex? Isn’t that uncomfortable for you?”

 

“Mm, not really. Though it was a little complicated to wear at first.”

 

“Well, if you’re feeling cold… I’ll lend you my coat.”

 

She was trying her best to make an excuse to cover up Kotori’s outfit. Umi was beginning to find it impossible to make eye contact with Kotori. She accepts and Umi gives her the coat, concealing almost all of her dress. It was a little loose on Kotori, but she didn’t seem to mind.

 

“Still a gentleman after all these years, Umi-chan? That’s cute.”

 

Umi sputtered, she tries to give her a hesitant thank you, but her sentence ends up being a stuttering mess. It seems as if Kotori was enjoying this. Umi, obviously, was not.

 

“Your cheeks are really red.”

 

“No they aren’t.”

 

“It’s a good look on you, Umi-chan.”

 

“P-please say no more.”

 

* * *

 

After they leave the bathroom, Kotori brings her to an unoccupied table upstairs and sit across from one another. Kotori was willing to pay for any drink Umi wanted, but she refused to take the offer. Umi searches for Nozomi and Rin downstairs and finds them, both seemed to have taken a break from partying and were sitting together. Observing the phone in front of them and their loud laughter, she assumes they were busy telling jokes or waiting for an unlucky person to fall victim to their prank calls.

 

Umi makes a mental note to punish both of them for their rude behavior, or maybe she’ll let them slide just this once. The hangover they’ll have in the morning will most likely suffice as punishment for the duo.

 

Kotori leans in as she sips the drink she ordered, taking her time before putting it aside. She gives the younger girl an amiable smile before speaking. “So… How has it been Umi-chan?”

 

Umi turns her head back to Kotori, “I’ve been well, and you?”

 

“Same as ever, I think?”

 

Umi take a moment to weigh her choices, but decides to ask Kotori directly instead of asking her later on. “Kotori, why were you in that room?”

 

“I work here Umi. I mistook you for my last client, I thought they came back because they left and forgot something.” Kotori paused in thought before adding in, “Why are _you_ here?”

 

“I was invited by Nozomi and Rin. Eli was supposed to come with us, but she wasn’t able to make it. They said they wanted to celebrate since it was a special occasion.” Umi doesn’t tell her that the “special occasion” was because she’d come out as a lesbian. She doesn’t want to explain the embarrassing details behind how she discovered her sexuality.

 

“Nozomi and Rin are down there.” Umi points at the duo below the balcony, she noticed Rin had picked up the phone and started talking. She hears Kotori hum in front of her.

 

“Ah, would you like to speak with them too? They’re a little inebriated, but I think they’ll be fine.”

 

Kotori shakes her head, surprising Umi. “Thanks Umi-chan, but I’d rather meet them under- what’s the word… different circumstances?” Umi opens her mouth, but closes it once again, unable to say anything that would convince Kotori. Instead, Umi settles with asking Kotori several questions about her work.

 

* * *

 

From the questions she’d asked so far, Umi’s learned that she’s been working here for several months. Kotori graduated successfully, but didn’t fare well with receiving commissions of her designs in France. After a while, Kotori ended up leaving France. Her designs didn’t suit their tastes and being a resident there drained a lot of her mother’s money.

 

Kotori decided to return to Japan to start her fashion designing career, and this job helped her scrape a little money for herself. She’s recently been asked to complete some commissions for idols, but her work still had some rough patches. She needed the extra money to buy materials for her projects.

 

Since her mother’s salary would have been able to cover most of her living expenses and designing materials, Umi wondered why Kotori would need to have a side occupation. Umi tries to ask her, but she evaded her questions, saying something along the lines of having to be independent.

 

The next round of questions were asked by Kotori. The loud music made it difficult for Umi to hear and answer her questions, but it was better than sitting in one of the overcrowded tables below. Kotori’s questions were surprisingly mundane. Most of them were about Umi’s duties at the dojo, the university she applied to, and how the other μ's members have been since she’d left. Umi answered all of them with a lengthy description, but Kotori seemed satisfied listening to her speak.

 

Halfway through one explanation about Honoka adding chilli jam instead of red bean paste in Umi’s manjuu, Kotori made a silly remark on how she’d missed being there for the two of their antics, which made Umi smile in return. “You can always visit Honoka, you know. She still works at her father’s bakery shop.”

 

“I’ll keep that in mind.”

 

“The others would be happy to see you too. If you want, I can schedule out a day where we can all-”

 

“I’m sorry Umi-chan but I can’t. Because… I don’t think I’m ready yet. But don’t worry, I’ll do it when I have the chance.”

 

“Promise you’ll tell me when that chance comes?”

 

“Of course.”

 

* * *

 

As time passed, a woman with a similar uniform to Kotori’s tapped her on the shoulder. The two talked briefly as Umi waited, deciding to pull out her phone to check the time.  She’d been with Kotori for longer than Umi thought. An hour and a half had been spent with the brunette, instead of spending time with the two friends she came with. But as she’d said to herself before, Kotori was her priority tonight.

 

Umi snapped out of her thoughts, realizing Kotori was trying to get her attention. The brunette was standing up, waving a hand over her friend’s face.

 

“Umi-chan, I have to go back to work now.”

 

Umi blinked, scrambling to find her phone in her pocket before the brunette would leave. “I-I recently received a new phone from my parents, could we still keep in touch?”

 

Kotori puts a hand over her mouth before she giggles and nods her head. After Umi unlocks the phone, Kotori takes it and types in her name and number before returning it back to Umi.

 

As the two women leave, Umi swears she could hear the worker teasing Kotori about giving Umi her number.  

 

* * *

 

After she drops off a drunken Rin and Nozomi to their homes, Umi's mind wanders back to how she met had met Kotori today. She finds herself thinking about the alluring clothes Kotori wore, which were strikingly different from the usually fashion style the girl had. 

 

Unlike Kotori, Umi believed she didn't look cute in the clothes she wore. She was too stiff and awkward, which contrasted Kotori's elegance and liveliness. Umi always settled with workout clothes that covered her body modestly instead of colorful dresses and skirts.

 

The only saving grace Umi had during her college days were Eli and Nico. Eli helped improve her fashion style by going shopping with Umi whenever she needed new clothes, Eli even scolded Umi the first time she tagged along. She would usually pick out a plain hoodie and sweatpants during those trips, but Eli protested against her choices and forced her to buy more fashionable clothing. Nico also taught her how to do her make up and style her hair, but she preferred to go without it.

 

Even with these things, how could she ever compete with someone as cute as Kotori? Umi remembers the outfit she wore earlier that night, which was plain compared to Kotori's. The beret she had was a gift from Kotori since middle school, and she still had the habit of tying her coat to her waist (which Nico deemed as "unfashionably immature"). Wait a second.

 

_Ah, the coat. Umi forgot to take it back from Kotori._

 

Umi finds herself writing a text to the brunette at 12 AM. She scolds herself for leaving her coat behind and making Kotori go through all that trouble. After sending Kotori the message, she places the device on the futon next to her and lies down on her futon. Umi yawns and closes her eyes, expecting Kotori to text her in the morning.

 

The ring of a text startles her out of her sleepy daze. Opening her phone, she finds a text from Kotori and reads it.

 

**Umi: Hello Kotori, I had forgotten my coat with you. When you’re available, please return it to me. Thank you.**

 

**Kotori: hi Umi chan! I will (｡･ө･｡)**

 

**Kotori: where do you want me to drop it off? the dojo?**

 

**Umi: Yes, that would be fine.**

 

**Kotori: awesome! I’ll be free the whole day tomorrow, so I guess I’ll stay over for a bit**

 

**Umi: That would be nice, I’ll make sure to tell my parents you are coming.**

 

**Kotori: alright then Umi, gnight! (•ө•)♡**

 

**Umi: Goodnight to you as well, Kotori.**

 

**Kotori: hey Umi chan?**

 

**Kotori: did you go to the private room knowing what it was..?**

 

**Umi: I believe not. I suppose it was a hotel or a lounge?**

 

**Kotori: not really, it’s a bdsm room**

 

**Umi: Kotori, what is a bdsm room?**

 

**Kotori: s-sorry Umi chan! I have to go to bed now, nighty night!**

 

**Umi: Goodnight Kotori, sleep well.**

 

Umi sighed, a bit disappointed Kotori couldn’t answer her final question. Giving in to curiosity, she decides to search the word on her phone’s search engine. Clicking through several sites displayed on her phone’s screen, she reads through a couple of them hoping they would have the answers she wanted.

 

That night, Umi becomes a flustered mess and nearly breaks her phone by throwing it outside her window.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, after a ridiculous turn of events at 4 AM yesterday, I learned the phrase "Arrow to the Knee" was actually from a 2011 Skyrim meme. I thought about changing it to "Arrow to the Heart" or "Arrow to the Soul" or something... but honestly the name stuck with me. But if "Arrow to the Heart" etc. or any other ideas seem like a better title I'm willing to change it, please feel free to tell me in the comments.
> 
> Another thing, I apologize for the huge clumpy paragraphs in the first chapter, I edited it a couple of hours ago. I spaced most of the text out for last chapter and this one to help out phone ficreaders. I didn't realize how crowded it looked when I read it on my phone, and I found it super irritating. 
> 
> As I said before, if you'd like to talk about headcannons for kotoumi or just chat, just message me on tumblr: flying-frappuccino! ♡ฅ(ᐤˊ꒳ฅˋᐤ♪)


	3. Summer's Heat

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again, it's your friendly neighborhood sin-writer. This chapter was a little difficult to produce due to weather complications. California is becoming an oven and our AC isn't doing it's job quite well. I'm sure you'll notice a fine amount of heat complaining in the story. But without further ado, here is the chapter!

Umi’s morning jog was anything but pleasant, and neither was her archery practice. Her mind and body felt exhausted. Umi wasn’t able to sleep very well the previous night. In fact, she was too alarmed by her late night research to think straight- or focus at anything at all. Umi tried to blame it on Nozomi and Rin’s endeavors, which forced her to drag the two girls back to their apartments at nearly midnight.

 

But she knew the real reason was the reunion she had with Kotori, or more specifically, her research about Kotori’s newfound  _occupation_. She remembers nearly destroying her phone in a fit of embarrassment due to her research last night. The phone was luckily saved by the bushes that softened the impact.

 

Umi leaned against the wall next to a rack of arrows, wiping her sweat with a cloth hanging on her neck. Her Sunday mornings always included cleaning the dojo. Even with the summer weather and lack of decent sleep weighing down her stamina, she prized herself for her impeccable self-discipline as a daughter of the Sonoda family. Routine was a must in her household, and she intended to follow through with it.

 

What didn’t involve her routine, though, was a person knocking on the doors of the dojo during a weekend morning. Opening the doors out of curiosity, she finds Kotori with a large lunch bag in one hand, and Umi’s coat in the other. Umi internally curses at herself for forgetting that Kotori would be coming to return the coat she left with her.

 

Kotori greets her with a light smile, seemingly unfazed by the heat in her sunhat and mint-colored floral dress. “Good morning Umi-chan, how are you?”

 

Umi wipes her cheeks of any remaining beads of sweat, starting to feel self-conscious of her disheveled appearance.

 

She gives a quick bow of formality to Kotori. “I’ve been well, thank you. Please come in. By the way, your outfit looks lovely today.”

 

Kotori thanks her for the compliment and walks inside. The two girls travel from the dojo and into Umi’s room. Kotori gives Umi her coat and she hangs it in her closet. Umi turns on a fan and excuses herself out of the room to take a quick shower. She takes a change of clothes before leaving and finishes feeling refreshed and satisfied.

 

Before returning to the room, she fills a tray with drinks they could share. It would be impolite of her not to give the proper hospitality a guest deserves.

 

* * *

 

Umi opens the sliding door and finds the taupe haired girl looking through the notebooks she’d filled out from writing poems and lyrics. Several books were splayed out in front of Kotori, who was resting her chin in her hands and laying on the floor.

 

Umi eyes her suspiciously, “Why are you looking through my notebooks, Kotori?”

 

Kotori flips to another page and waves her hand dismissively, “No reason, I was just curious.”

 

“Alright, I brought some drinks for us if you’re thirsty.” Umi sits and puts the tray down on the desk Kotori occupied.

 

Kotori giggles suddenly, but when Umi asks, she just tells her it’s a joke. Umi raises a brow at her, “Is… Is it something I should know?”

 

Kotori shakes her head, covering her mouth to contain more bubbles of laughter. “Some things are better kept as secrets.” Umi feels a little hurt by this, but remembering what she’d searched up last night, she assumed Kotori was just trying to protect her innocence.

 

As if to change the topic’s conversation, Kotori sits and opens up the lunch bag she brought with her. Inside were the lunch bag was a box of manjuu, Umi’s favorite snack. “Anyways, I brought snacks! I wasn’t able to stop by for Honoka-chan’s manjuu, but I hope you’ll like it.”

 

Umi’s mouth waters a little, she’d missed eating manjuu. After thanking Kotori, she takes one piece and begins eating it. She takes a couple of sips of her own drink before Kotori asks her a question.

 

“So you’re into girls, Umi-chan?”

 

Umi nearly chokes on the iced drink she was drinking. Kotori runs over to her side, patting her back and apologizes.

 

She takes a few minutes to recover, she wipes her mouth with the towel she had on her neck. “N-no need to apologize Kotori.” Umi coughs a little before answering Kotori’s question, “And yes… I do. How did you know?”

 

"I mean, you _were_ at the place I worked in, so I just wanted to confirm it." Kotori cleans the table with tissues from pack she brought, rejecting any offers of help from Umi. “How did you realize you were?”

 

Umi tries her best to vaguely answer the question, there’s no way she’d tell her. Umi looks away, pretending to focus her attention on the opened notebooks beside Kotori. “I-I’m not sure, one thing led to another and it just clicked.” She takes the wet tissues from Kotori and throws it in her trash bin. “What about you?”

 

Kotori hums, “I sort of knew since high school, I had a crush on someone for a very long time. Though I had been too chicken to confess to them.” The brunette munches on another manjuu as Umi sits down. Umi frowns at Kotori’s statement.

 

“Is that why you chose to work at that club?”

 

“Yes, and no. The particular job I have now is something related to-”

 

“BDSM?”

 

Kotori visibly flinches, Umi realizes the atmosphere around them has suddenly become tense. “Did you look it up, Umi?”

 

Umi nods her head slowly, she takes a mental note of Kotori dropping the honorifics she usually uses with her.

 

Kotori tilts her head, she blushes in mild embarrassment. “What did you see?”

 

“M-most of them were pictures of people with dark outfits being tied up in… bizarre ways, or those people getting punished.”

 

“Sounds about right.”

 

Umi frowns in concern, “I can’t help but worry for your safety Kotori. Why you would want to work and provide people with those… services?”

 

Kotori clicks her tongue, surprising Umi. Her usual chirpy voice sounded a little solemn compared to how it was earlier. “It’s an occupation, Umi. Everything is monitored and safe, like any other job.”

 

“B-but wouldn’t you have to service them with your body?”

 

"It's not prostitution Umi, I'm not harmed in any way."

 

"But, I've read that-"

 

“I have the choice on whether I would have sexual intercourse with them or not, and I chose not to. There’s a contract that’s necessary for the client and I to fill out, and besides, _I’m_ the one in control. They trust me with what I’m doing to them.”

 

“But you still had the choice to choose something else. What about working at a maid cafe again? Wouldn’t that be easier and less _provocative_?” When Kotori doesn’t reply, Umi decides to continue.

 

“And most importantly, why didn’t you tell anyone you came back to Japan sooner? Why didn’t you tell Honoka and I? We all missed you. _I_ missed you.” Umi pried further, her number of questions for Kotori were growing, and she wanted answers.

 

Kotori dodges her last set of questions. “I like working in that club, and it pays well. I applied that job because I wanted to.”

 

“Why would _anyone_ want to-”

 

“So you’re saying you would judge anyone because of where they work?” Kotori turns her head to the window, breaking her eye contact with her. “You’re being mean, Umi. You haven’t even tried it yet, what gives you the right to say anything about it?”  

 

Umi was at a loss of words, she knew she had crossed the line. She didn’t mean to hurt her childhood friend’s feelings. She scrambled for some answer she could provide to help her friend feel better.  Umi bites her lip, a habit she developed whenever she was in a stressful situation.

 

 _Maybe… she should just try it once then?_ She thinks to herself (a rather queer thought, she would say). But if it would help her comprehend Kotori’s reasoning, she would gladly do it.

 

Then again, Umi didn’t really want anyone doing _that_ to her unless it had been someone she trusted. Her eyes slowly moved to the brunette, maybe if it were her…

 

Umi gulps and blurts what comes to mind first. “I… I’d like to understand.”

 

Kotori turns her head to look at her, her face showing complete disbelief. “C-come again?”

 

Umi pushes her drink and manjuu to the side, and stands up. She shyly avoids Kotori’s gaze when she speaks. “Maybe you’re right, maybe I should at least experience it instead of judging this so quickly. I apologize, Kotori.”

 

Kotori gapes her mouth, speechless at the girl in front of her.

 

Umi tilts her head in concern,  “Kotori?”

 

She asks, “Do you want to try it right now? Are you sure?”

 

The younger girl hesitates for a moment before nodding, “I-I suppose so. Would you be alright with it?”

 

Kotori awkwardly fidgets a little, but gives Umi a reassuring smile. “Why not?”

 

* * *

 

A couple of minutes after they’ve made their decision, Umi comes out of her closet with the red ribbon she wore as a second year student. She gives the ribbon to Kotori, and follows the instructions the she gives her. Umi sits on the bed, hands pressed against her own lap with her legs tucked under her bottom. Kotori covers her eyes with the ribbon, tying it behind her head into a simple bow.

 

The cloth impairs her vision perfectly, leaving nothing but darkness in her sight. Umi gulps as she feels Kotori place her hand over her own. “Will this hurt?”

 

Kotori hums in thought. “Do you want it to?”

 

Umi takes a moment, then shakes her head.

 

“Okay, I’ll be gentle just for you. Whenever you feel uncomfortable by any of this, just tell me to stop.”

 

Umi nods in reply.There is a moment of silence before Kotori speaks.

 

“D-do you trust me, Umi?”

 

“Of course.”

 

She hears Kotori clasp her hands together. “Alright then, let’s get started.”

 

At first, Umi feels nothing. She tries make out her surroundings as much as she could. She feel the warm, humid air that encompassed her room, she could hear the faint whirring of the electric fan, and she felt her back slowly feeling drenched with her sweat from the summer’s heat- and her own.

 

She flinches as she felt two hands slide onto her thighs.

 

Kotori abruptly stops, “Is this too much?”

 

Umi shakes her head in refusal, “I-I’m alright.”

 

After a moment, Kotori hesitantly continues. One hand tracked up her body, tracing up from her stomach, then her shoulders, and finally to her neck. Even with the shirt she was wearing, she could feel Kotori leave warmth where she touched. Kotori’s thumb rubbed against the nape of her neck gently, while the other hand caressed her thigh. Umi hopes Kotori hasn’t realized how flushed her cheeks were becoming.

 

Kotori’s hand left her nape and moved to her bottom lip, pressing down on it and opening Umi’s mouth slightly. She firmly presses her palms down on her lap and unconsciously draws both of her legs together closer. A breath Umi didn’t know she was holding escapes from her lips.

 

She feels the weight of her bed shift, Kotori was moving closer towards her. The hand that was on her thigh made its way to cup her cheek. She turned Umi’s head slightly and planted a soft kiss on her cheek.

 

Then a pause.

 

Kotori pulls Umi in a tight hug. She whispers into her ear.

 

“I’m sorry. Let's stop here.”

 

Umi swears she felt the all the air in her lungs leave from how tight Kotori hugged her. She heard Kotori mumble the apology, but couldn’t make out the rest from how silent her voice was. Kotori unties the ribbon that kept the cloth on Umi's eyes, her hands quivering as she pulled the strings.

 

Umi winces a little as sunlight flashes through her vision, she blinks a couple of times to adjust to the surrounding around her. She sees a smiling Kotori with her hand cupping on her own cheek, and the other holding her ribbon. Kotori’s smile seemed forced, but Umi doesn’t comment on it. She’d asked too many questions already.

 

Kotori pokes Umi’s cheek, bringing her back from her own thoughts. “How was it?”

 

“I-it was… interesting.” Umi tries to fan her shirt as if it would reduce the warmth emanating from her body.

 

Kotori gives Umi her drink to help her cool down and patiently waits for her to finish. “Well, that’s good I guess…” The brunette looks at her watch and visibly panics. “Oh no, I-I’m late for my doctor’s appointment!”

 

Umi puts down her drink on her bed’s table. “Would you like me to accompany you?”

 

The older girl shakes her head, quickly packing up her lunchbag. Umi follows her and opens the doors to the dojo. Kotori smiles at her, “Thanks for letting me come over, Umi-chan!”

 

“It was no problem, please do come again.” Umi bows, watching Kotori wave and take her leave. Umi loses sight of Kotori turn after she turns a corner. She takes a moment to realize Kotori told her  that she was free the whole day last night, but she dismisses the thought. Umi sighs and closes the doors to the entrance.

 

* * *

 

Umi returns to her room in a heated daze. She attempted to perform more household chores to distract herself, but she’d already finished most of them this morning. Jogging was also out of the question, running at this time of day would definitely lead to a heatstroke.

 

Left out of options, Umi decides to settle with lying on her bed and reading through the book her professor had assigned to them. She’d already finished the book once, but a second time couldn’t hurt her.

 

A couple of minutes later, Umi ends up closing her eyes to rest and lays the book flat on her bedside table. She groans at herself, not used to giving up on something so easily. Her attempts at reading were futile. She had reread the first sentence of the book more than ten times, her mind was obviously refusing to pay attention.

 

Umi tries to blame her lack of focus on the harsh summer heat, but when her thoughts wandered to a certain taupe haired girl, she couldn’t help but notice her underwear feeling a little… damp.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I hope you guys enjoyed it! I plan on writing a two-parter for the next chapter, it will be Kotori-centric so Umi won't get much spotlight (unfortunately). But I do look forward to it.
> 
> Also, I forgot to mention I also provide art for this AU, I have no idea why. You can find them here: http://flying-frappuccino.tumblr.com/tagged/ATTK


	4. Like a Bird, Part One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> First part of Birb Angst™

_From her voice, looks, and petite stature, Kotori was always treated as a pure girl that had her head in the clouds. People assumed she had an innocent and carefree personality, and of course, she played the part as well. Everyone, even her own mother and father, had expectations of how she should act. She was the principal’s daughter, after all. Kotori had to be diligent, charming, and kind to others, no matter what her feelings tell her._

 

_But if she were to tell the truth, her innocence was only a mask for herself to hide in. Kotori knew she was a manipulative, deceitful, and insecure person. She was scared of others seeing the side of her she’d kept hidden for so long. She believed they’d judge her and hate her for how she truly was._

 

_It didn’t help that her physical condition made her an outcast during early years of her childhood either._

 

_Born with a weak left knee, Kotori was pitied and teased for the way she limped while she walked. Because of this, Kotori’s mother wanted her to have an operation to get it fixed. The surgery solved her walking problems, but another concern soon rose when she’d realized there was a scar on her leg. Her doctor assured her that the scar would heal in time, but that didn’t mean she was free of worry. Kotori strictly wore long skirts or dresses to hide the scar, she was scared her other classmates would see and find it ugly._

 

_One morning, Kotori left the hospital from a checkup. Sure enough, her scar had started to heal, but it was still very visible. Kotori thought she’d be safe from any classmates running into her, but her luck was never that great._

 

_“Kotori-chan, is that you?”_

 

_The young girl turned her head and saw Umi. Her heartbeat's pulse quickened and panic arose from inside her. Kotori tried to cover her leg with the long dress she was wearing, but it was futile. Umi reprimands her about tripping because of the dress and pulls it up, ignoring Kotori’s meek protests against it._

 

_Sure enough, Umi ended up seeing the scar that stretched across her leg._

 

_Kotori ends up telling her about the scar and why she had been going to the hospital frequently. She sees Umi turn red from her embarrassment, and apologizes for her actions. Umi sheepishly adds in a comment on the side._

 

_"If I were to give you my honest opinion Kotori... I believe short skirts suit you a lot more than long ones."_

 

_Kotori blushes as Umi pushes further on, and says she didn’t need to hide her scar since she always looked cute in Umi's eyes._

 

_Umi left to return home a while later, mentioning something about medicine she needed to bring to her grandmother. Kotori couldn’t help but feel happy from what Umi said to her. She’d developed a fondness for the girl, but unlike Honoka, Umi was able to make her pulse quicken and butterflies develop in her stomach._

 

* * *

 

It was years later, in high school, that Kotori realizes she’d developed a long term crush on her childhood friend, Umi.

 

Kotori was tasked to pick up Umi from archery training that day, and she couldn’t help but feel mesmerized by the way she stood her ground and shot arrows to the targets. Her cobalt hair, triumphant smile, and her focused amber eyes were all it took to make Kotori weak at the knees. It all clicked then, that she had been in love with Umi for a very long time.

 

Her reputation and beauty weren’t the only reasons Kotori fell for her. Umi helped Kotori get over her insecurities, and always tried to boost her self-esteem. Since the day they’ve met, Umi was always trying to protect her and Honoka from any kinds of danger.  Though some may think she was too strict or rough with people, Kotori loved the way she showed her care and concern for others. Umi was never able to wear a mask or lie to anyone, her actions always served good intentions.

 

She tried to deny her crush at first, Umi was her friend after all. But after accidentally finding Eli and Nozomi making out in the student council room, she’d changed her view on her own sexuality for good.

 

Soon, her subtle admiration turned into something bigger when the two of them were dragged into μ's by none other than Honoka. Kotori always found Umi to be a gallant prince… but she’d realized Umi had more sides to her that were more feminine. Her friend smiled a lot more, wore short skirts, and even created love songs for their lives. It was a dream for Kotori to see Umi like this, everyday spent wondering what outfit Umi would look good in. Designing outfits for Umi was definitely Kotori’s favorite pastime, and seeing her embarrassed reactions made it even more appealing.

 

* * *

 

One evening, Kotori was sewing miniature dolls of all her eight friends. They gave her inspiration, and she planned one for each member when the third years graduate. Kotori started off with herself, then followed with Honoka, Eli, Nozomi, and so on. By the time she finished the ninth doll, it was nearly midnight.  

 

The last member she worked on was Umi, who wore a proud smile. She was already making some finishing touches before she realized it wasn’t how Kotori _wanted_ it to look. She took a quick glance at the time, it was half past eleven. Gathering felt and yarn, Kotori hums to herself, _it couldn’t hurt to make one more_.

 

Her final product of Umi was everything she’d hoped for. She hangs it on her desk lamp and goes to sleep satisfied by her work.

 

When the next day came, Kotori was excited to bring and give each of the members a doll during their after school practice. Seeing their smiles and joy always brought her happiness. During practice, she distributed the dolls to everyone, they all complimented and thanked her. When Umi thanked Kotori she gave her a genuine, ethreal smile that left Kotori blushing as red as Maki’s hair.

 

Kotori didn’t give Umi the other doll she created of her, she feared it would be an insult to Umi’s self-confidence. Instead, she decides to hang it on her lamp and pets it from time to time. For some odd reason, she found the doll was able to provide her comfort whenever she felt stressed or worried.

 

* * *

 

Kotori knew Umi never looked at her in a romantic way. Why would she? Kotori was only her childhood friend that had a passion for fashion and cute things. Nothing more, nothing less.

 

Umi was a focused force, nothing would get in the way of her training and morals. Umi often told the other μ's members that she had no time for shameless things like love and romance.  As if to amplify her anti-romance ideals, Umi was inherently clueless and naive. Umi couldn’t see the difference between platonic and romantic situations. Even though she was a popular girl at Otonokizaka and received many love letters, she often misunderstood them as “friendship letters” and formally wrote back to every single one of them. All of the girls that confessed to her came to the dojo after learning about the incident, and it ended up being a chaotic mess.

 

Kotori herself tried, multiple times, to convey her feelings to the cobalt haired girl. But every single attempt had ended in failure. All her effort would be for nothing, since the one she loved was an endearing, _immensely_ solid brick wall. Kotori did not have the powers of flirtation and love by her side, and even if she did, Umi was the type to turn a blind eye to those traits.

 

In the end, Kotori often tried her best show Umi signs of affection. She often spoiled Honoka so she could catch Umi's attention, she made sure to make Umi’s skirt a bit shorter than the others so she could see her get flustered, she fed Umi whenever she was busy doing student council work, and once, she gave Umi an anonymous love letter that had Umi scrambling to find the person who wrote it.

 

Though she knew her tactics were weak, she enjoyed being able to make Umi happy and relax. Umi was always hard on herself, so any time spent with her and Honoka was a blessing for her overly stressed friend.

 

Maybe it was why she fell so hard for her in the first place. No matter what outcome it had, Umi still kept Kotori by her side as one of her best friends.

 

* * *

 

The day Kotori truly gave up was when she told her about the scholarship from France. She tried to weigh the positives of transferring into the school and the positives of staying at Otonokizaka, but deep down, she knew she wanted someone to tell her to stay. Kotori had hoped Umi would stop her and made her realize that the decision she was making was wrong, but…

 

Umi just stood there and accepted it.

 

Anger, confusion, and an overwhelming amount of _disappointment_ hit Kotori. It took her an enormous effort to keep her emotions in check in that one moment. But of course, Umi wouldn’t have noticed, nor would anyone else, really. Kotori’s facade was stronger than her feelings, she would even say it was stronger than Umi’s naivety in romance.

 

In the end, she left Umi there, unable to fill the silence between them. Umi tried to comfort her before she told everyone else about it, but it only broke her heart even more.

 

Thankfully, Honoka was able to stop her from leaving before it was too late.

 

* * *

 

The year she graduated, Kotori took her departure to France. She was offered another chance to study abroad due to her success in μ's. She was extremely excited for the second chance, and accepted their scholarship immediately. Two months later, Kotori packed her bags and said her goodbyes to everyone. All of them gave her supportive and excited remarks about the trip, they all told her she’d do well there.

 

“Good luck, Kotori.”

 

Kotori turned towards the voice, seeing familiar golden eyes and cobalt hair. Umi was the last one to stay behind, since she volunteered to help her with the luggage she had. They were already at the security checkpoint and Umi had to take her leave soon.

 

Kotori gently waved to Umi. “You too, Umi-chan.”

 

The two shared a moment of silence. Kotori didn’t want to say goodbye just yet.

 

“Kotori, I apologize.”

 

“For what?”

 

“Two years ago. It should have been me who stopped you from going abroad.”

 

“It’s fine, Umi-chan. You did your best.”

 

Umi looks at her, her smile was frail and her eyes were full of solemn regret. “I suppose… my best just isn’t enough for you.”

 

Kotori forces herself to chuckle a little, it comes out more awkward than she expected. “What do you mean by that?”

 

Umi sighs, “I don’t really know what it means, either. I... I just wanted to say what I was thinking.”

 

“I see.” Kotori holds Umi’s hand gently, and smiles. “Don’t think that way, Umi-chan. You thought what you did was the best for me. You were just trying to make me happy, as always.”

 

Umi purses her lips, and frowns. “Are you happy right now?”

 

Kotori takes a while to answer, but grips Umi’s hand a little harder as she replies.

 

“Yes. I am.”

 

Umi hugs Kotori at that moment, which surprises her. It was rare for Umi to give anyone any physical signs of affection. Kotori could tell from Umi's firm grip and weak voice that she was making an effort not to cry.

 

“I’ll miss you.” 

 

Kotori returns the hug and lays her head on Umi’s shoulder. Despite tears prickling through her eyes, she tries her best to sound unfazed and cheerful.

 

“I’ll miss you too.”

 

"Make sure to contact me when you return, alright?"

 

"I promise."

 

* * *

 

During the flight, Kotori repeatedly tells herself she was over Umi, and only saw her as an important friend. There was no way Kotori would keep the feelings she’d had for so long with her during her four years of studying in France. She _had_ to let Umi go, or else she would have to bear the pain of her unrequited love for the rest of her life.

 

But, if someone were to ask her why she decided to bring the Umi doll she sewed a year ago to keep her company, she wouldn’t be able to give them an answer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I hope you guys enjoyed the chapter! I swear I'll post more art on my tumblr tag soon, I'm just sorting out the ones that seem at least a tad bit decent. 
> 
> The chapter title is dedicated Kotori's VA/Uchida Aya's song "Like a Bird". The lyrics fit perfectly with the two-parter!  
> Song lyrics: http://renai-junkie.tumblr.com/post/160735569831/uchida-aya-lyrics-like-a-bird


	5. Like a Bird, Part Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Second part of Birb Angst™

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, I'd like to inform you guys that I'll be having a two week hiatus after this update. I'll talk more about it in the end notes, but for now, please enjoy the chapter!

Kotori’s stay in France wasn’t as exciting as she thought it would be. The weather was horrible on her immune system, and compared to Japan, the culture was different than what Kotori was used to. It took her a while to adjust to the language, food, and norms. Because of this, it was difficult for her to befriend anyone during her first year as a student. She’d only made her first friend, a young girl named Arcene, after her first year when she moved in with her as dorm mates. Luckily, the latter also knew how to speak Japanese.

 

The two of them got along well, even they were complete polar opposites, had no similar interests, and only took a few classes together. In more ways than one, her newfound friend was similar to Honoka. The only difference was the blonde color of her hair and deep, green eyes.

 

* * *

 

During April fools, Arcene invites her to go to a convention with her in a nearby hotel. Of course, she had no clue it was a BDSM convention, and her friend had been waiting to pull a prank on her to ease her college stress a little.

 

The first few minutes were an incredible mess for both of them. When she stepped into the convention, the first thing she notices is the overwhelming smell of rubber.

 

Then, when they walked a couple of steps further, she notices there were some highly _sexual_ processions taking place. Various people were in their underwear and others weren't clothed at all.  Kotori was shocked by all of this, and at one point, she nearly screamed when she saw a naked woman walk in front of her. Her friend tried her best to calm her down, but it wasn’t helping. They were almost kicked out for causing a huge ruckus in the entrance of the convention, it wasn’t until her friend covered her mouth that Kotori began to quiet down.

 

Once Kotori finally at ease, she began to appreciate their designs as a form of art. 

 

Though the prank did help her friend get a few laughs from Kotori, she became absorbed by intricate designs the outfits many of the people were wearing. She swears she could hear Umi’s voice saying “Shameless!” at the back of her head. Using the critique mindset her classes taught her, she’d realized used latex as the main material for the clothing. Working with latex for outfits was a lot more challenging and complex than with cloth. She had to say, she felt impressed.

 

She knew both of them (Arcene being dragged around with her, and apologizing profusely) struck out like sore thumbs. Her friend was wearing a fleece, white jacket and jogging pants. Kotori wore and a light pink coat, and bunny shaped mittens (she argued that bunny mittens were trendy for all ages, being an adult doesn’t always mean being mature).

 

Despite the duo’s innocent wardrobe choices, the others didn’t mind. In fact, they were friendlier than Kotori expected. 

 

In one of the conference rooms, Kotori joined in a lecture about BDSM which talked about several topics in the hobby. During the lecture, Kotori learned about BDSM ethics which highlighted the importance of consent and trust. Later on, the lecture turned to more sensual things such as bondage, discipline, sadomasochism, and roleplay. Some of the people even volunteered to demonstrate during the discussions, and each time they did, Kotori would put all her focus into observing the scenes displayed to her.

 

There was something about it that just spoke- no, just _screamed_ at her. It beckoned to her heart, telling her something she wanted to deny badly.

 

_Yes, she liked this._

 

When they arrived back to their dorms, Kotori spent the whole night researching about it. Her morals and ethical standards dropped when she was alone, and all that was under that mask of hers was pure passion for art.

 

Art, in Kotori’s own perspective, was darker than most people imagined it to be. Her enthusiasm for tragedy, death, and horror were some things she could easily name at the top of her head (some, more conservative individuals, would count her sexuality as something “dark” as well, but she ignored those ignorant accusations). She found beauty in their expression of darkness, when others would shrivel at the mention of what she found interesting. She was able to find others with the same enthusiasm for her interests in France, but Japan definitely had a different expectation for stereotypical “cute” girls like Kotori.

 

“You seem to be interested with that stuff now.”  

 

Kotori looks up from her computer, seeing Arcene grinning. The usual portable gaming device she used was on her lap, the game was paused. The girl rubs the back of her head, “It’s pretty funny how my April Fool’s prank backfired. I was hoping it would make you more relaxed but look at you, you've been on the computer for three hours!”

 

Kotori forgot her roommate was still awake at this time. She remembers her friend mentioning her insomnia in the beginning of the year, but didn’t pay much mind to it. She pouts jokingly,  “It’s not my fault your plan backfired!”

 

The two laughed for a bit, Kotori rubs her eyes free of growing tears. “Thanks, I really appreciated it. I was pretty stressed out and you tried to help. To be honest, I think it worked.”

 

Her roommate nods, before she returns to playing videogames on her device. “It’s no problem, Kotori. Don’t be too hard on yourself all the time. Now you better sleep before you stress out tomorrow too.”

 

"Okay then." Kotori smiles, she puts away her computer and tucks herself in bed. “Goodnight.”

 

* * *

 

Graduation came faster than she anticipated. Her college days felt like a huge blur. The two friends were both in tears, congratulating each other for the success they’ve had. By the end of the ceremony, both of them promised to keep in touch and parted their ways.

 

Each of the u’s members text her afterwards, the last one had been Umi. This was the first message she’d sent her since her birthday several months ago.

 

_Congratulations Kotori. I’m sure your graduation was fantastic. As you childhood friend,  I’m proud of you and wish you best of luck for your career abroad. I know you’ll be able to amaze them with your creativity and designs._

 

_P.S. Please feel free to visit us anytime, we all miss you._

 

Kotori blushes from the text, she sends a quick thank you and feels her confidence returning to her once again.

 

* * *

 

Her mother bought her an apartment that she moved into immediately after her college graduation. She was excited to start selling commissions and producing the fashion designs she planned in those four years. Applying to a fashion industry company, she started out small, as one of the employees that helped other designers.

 

After a year, she grew tired of the company and tried to solely commission her work instead. But that ended in failure too.

 

Kotori moves to back to Japan a year later, feeling dejected by the overwhelming negativity the industry in France had. She didn’t want to show her face to her friends, she would have been too ashamed. She tells her mother, and accepts Kotori’s decision to keep the fact that she returned a secret.

 

In a couple of months, Kotori’s popularity rose in Japan’s fashion industry once again. She received commissions from several idol groups, due to her fame as μ's designer. Soon, she found herself immersed and worn out from her work every day, her short-deadline projects gave her a huge amount of stress that she had no clue how to get rid of.

 

As a way to cope with her stress and boost her self-confidence, Kotori secretly applies for a lesbian club a couple of miles from the new apartment she lived in. Luckily, she heard they were in need of dominatrix workers, Kotori gets hired easily.

 

During the first day, she is taught the basic procedures she needed to follow and is assured safety during work. She’s informed about how she’ll service people’s sexual fantasies, and would be safe from any form of penetration on her part if she preferred not to.

 

After the overview, an employee tells her to go to the business manager’s room. The employee tells her the manager believed it was standard protocol to hear any opinions or requests an employee would have to improve the club’s efficiency.

 

She opens the door to the business manager’s room and finds their office chair faced towards the wall, which had a large window that overlooked the city. From the loud keyboard typing, Kotori assumes the manager was preoccupied at the moment. She coughs lightly to get their attention.

 

The manager flinches and sits straight up in their chair, a ponytail of blonde hair appears from back of the chair. A stern, feminine voice calls back to Kotori. “Who is it?”

 

Kotori gulps, feeling a little nervous. “I’m the new employee.”

 

The woman hums, and picks up a folder from her desk, Kotori guesses it’s her employee application’s folder. “I haven’t seen your employee application yet, I’m sorry about that. What was your name again?”

 

“Minami Kotori.”

 

The manager drops the folder and spins the chair violently towards Kotori. The woman places the laptop down and slams her hands down on the table. Kotori yelps out of surprise and takes a few steps back. “M-manager?”

 

The woman in front of Kotori had thick rimmed glasses, cerulean eyes, and-

 

Oh, it was Eli.

 

The two shouted and pointed at each other until one of the employees barged in from the noise. It took the employee nearly half an hour to calm both of them down.

 

Once they were both relaxed, Eli apologizes to Kotori once again for not reading the job application sooner. She was busy managing the finances for the club since the BDSM installment had been added a only three months ago.

 

“It’s alright Eli-chan. I’m just amazed by how you’ve become the manager of this club at such a young age!”

 

Eli chuckles and grins sheepishly. “Well, my aunt wanted to settle after keeping this club up for ten years. I offered to take it up after I graduated. I was lucky I switched to major in business during my first year, or else I wouldn’t have gotten the spot.”

 

“Are you enjoying the job so far?”

 

“Definitely. I was eager to do it when I heard my aunt talk about it. When my aunt gave me the position, I nearly cried in front of her. It was really embarrassing.”

 

Kotori hums, “That’s adorable, Eli."

 

After hearing Kotori’s story, Eli promises to keep her return to Japan and working here a secret as well. Her only request was to wear a veil that would keep her anonymous just as a precaution, she didn’t want to risk anyone knowing that she worked here or else her mother would find out about it. Eli accepts, and gives Kotori her number.

 

“If you ever need help or support, just call me.”

 

Kotori gives her a smile, “Thanks, Eli-chan.”

 

* * *

 

One night, Kotori realizes one of her clients forgot their bracelet on the table. She leaves the door open for them to return to pick it up. She cleans everything while she waits for her client, it was part of her job to make sure there was nothing other than the materials behind, after all.

 

When she finishes, there was still no sign of the missing person. She decides it was safe to unveil herself and turns off the light switch, getting ready to leave for her break. It was after she placed the bracelet in her pocket that she hears the door creak open.

 

Kotori couldn’t make out the face in the dark room, so she tries to tap the person’s shoulder to get their attention.

 

If there’s anything she had learned from her childhood friend, Sonoda Umi, it was to never frighten her unless you wanted to get severely injured.

 

* * *

 

“I’d like to understand.”

 

The words echoed in Kotori’s head as Umi, the girl she’d crushed on for god knows how long, sat in front of her with her eyes blindfolded. She was in quite the predicament, and she knew she couldn’t take the coward’s exit out of this.

 

She hesitantly palmed both of Umi’s thighs, she heard a gasp escape from Umi. Despite asking Umi whether she’d like to stop, she surprisingly refuses. Kotori hesitantly lets her hand travel to the nape of Umi’s neck. She’s glad Umi was blindfolded at the moment, because Kotori’s face was flushed red at this point.

 

Kotori could almost cry from the irony of their situation. Umi had no clue she had been pining for her since high school, and after nearly a _decade_ , she allows Kotori to touch her as if they were lovers.

 

The conscience that shackled her desires were being destroyed by weight and force of her own feelings. The temptation to seek her, to touch her, to feel her warmth, seemed to overbear Kotori. Some part of herself told her she shouldn’t, that she would ruin Umi. As if _she_ were the devil’s serpent convincing Eve to take a bite of the forbidden apple of knowledge.

 

But if Kotori were to burn in hell for this, _oh_ , it would be worth it.

 

* * *

 

Kotori landed in her own apartment with a harsh thud from dropping her lunch bag. Her whole body felt heavy, she was sweating and panting out of exhaustion. She nearly ran a mile to travel back home, her heart and mind had panicked. Kotori glances at the Umi doll that hung on her counter, wincing as if her shame had shaped into a knife and stabbed her. From all the anxiety that bubbled up within her, only one thought reverberated in her head like a loud, broken record.

 

_What in the world was I thinking?_

 

All Kotori wanted to do today was spend time with Umi, not manipulate her into experimenting BDSM. She wanted to be _friends_ with her because she knew they would never be anything more than that. Umi would never have feelings for someone like her.

 

Kotori needed to talk to someone about this. She decides it would be a good idea to call Eli to ask for help. The phone rings a couple of times before the blonde picks up.

 

“Hey Kotori, how's it going?”

 

“E-Eli I think I messed something up.”

 

“What? Did you do something to a client?”

 

“No no, okay. I met Umi at the club the other day and-”

 

“Umi?! They went to the club!?”

 

“Y-yes? Weren’t you supposed to go with Umi-chan, Nozomi-chan, and Rin-chan?”

 

“I was, but they didn’t tell Umi and I where we were going. I’m glad I told them I couldn’t make it. That would have been awkward.” Eli pauses, Kotori could hear her taking a sip of some drink. “Anyways, what else happened between you two?”

 

“Long story short, Umi accidentally went into the BDSM room I was in, flipped me over her shoulder out of self defense, and forgot her coat with me. So I came over her house to return it. Then we get in an argument about my job- and- somehow she told me I had to convince her by doing it to her.”

 

“That’s a lot to take in. What was that last part?”

 

“She wanted me to try BDSM on her.”

 

Eli laughs loudly, “Kotori, are you kidding me? This is _Umi_ you’re talking about.”

 

Kotori whines, “I’m not lying, she actually asked me! I tried asking her if she wanted to stop too, but she went through with the whole thing… Then I chickened out last second.”

 

“What did you do to her?”

 

“Just a simple blindfold, she was sitting on her bed. I didn’t touch her that much either, I-I just kissed her cheek.”

 

“I can’t comprehend how Umi doesn’t know you have a crush on her after all that.”

 

“I don’t have a crush on her anymore.”

 

“Uh huh, you wanted to kiss Umi on the cheek because you wanted to become a better, closer, more _intimate_ friend-”

 

“Just give me your advice, Eli-chan.”

 

“Hmm, I think you should be honest with Umi. You’ve been wanting to do something like that to her for a while, right?”

 

“I…”

 

Suddenly, Kotori remembers something she wrote in her diary.

 

“Kotori, we both know Umi. She trusted you enough to give her consent to you, that girl can barely give consent to _me_ coming with her to buy dresses.”

 

“But, Umi-chan would find it…”

 

“Shameless? Did she say so while you were touching her?”

 

“No, she didn’t.”

 

“Exactly.” Kotori hears a door open from Eli’s end, and she soon makes out Nozomi’s voice calling out to her. “I have to go now, I’m going on a movie night with Nozomi. I hoped this helped.”

 

“It did. Thanks, Eli-chan.”

 

* * *

 

When Eli hung up, Kotori looked for the diary she had in high school. It took her an hour, but she eventually found it in one of the storage boxes in her closet. She took it to her desk and immediately searched for the log she wrote about a particular thought she had about Umi. It was one of the last journal entries she wrote in her second year, she remembers making μ's dolls for everyone during that day.

 

The diary Kotori wrote couldn’t have spelled it out for her better than anything. As she read, she’d realized how far she’d fallen for the cobalt haired girl and how her _revolting_ fantasies had played out in the words written within them.

 

_Let me tell you a secret._

 

_Umi can do martial arts and Japanese dance, she looks great in pantskirts and kimonos, and looks quite dashing with her long, pitch-black hair. It’s no wonder that the younger girls always get excited and start screaming whenever they see Umi. Umi’s a confident and attractive girl – she’s “invincible”._

 

_However –_

 

_I often catch myself thinking –_

 

_It’s awkward to say it out aloud. But let me just tell you this in secret._

 

_Well, compared to the word “invincible”, doesn’t “rarely defeated” suit Umi better? Ah ah, if she knew that I had thoughts like that, she would surely kill me, but, Umi – I’m sorry. I can’t stop my imagination. Compared to a dashingly dressed Umi who clenches her fists and proclaims victory, a dejected Umi who is on her knees with both hands on the floor and tearfully admits “I lost…” is so much more attractive, so much more outstanding, so much prettier –_

 

_It makes my heart race so much faster♪_

 

_In my opinion, that Umi is as pretty as a picture!_

 

_The Kotori who watches Umi’s archery competitions with thoughts like that is a very messed up person, isn’t she?_

 

She closes the book in front of her, guilt washing through her body like steamed water. Placing both hands on her face and sighing, she tried to recover from her discovery by recalling he memories of the past. Of course, the Kotori from five years ago wouldn’t have known what her feelings truly meant. She’d been too focused with u’s and school work anyways.

 

But now, she was fully aware of what her desires were.

 

Kotori stares at the Umi doll she created, which was still hung on her lamp and kept in good condition even after six years. She stands up and puts the diary on her table, taking the doll to look at it closely. Its crestfallen expression and tears made of felt seemed to stare back at her in pity. She held the doll to her chest and sighed in defeat, there was no way Kotori would tell Umi about her feelings.

 

Umi deserved someone better than her, after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope I wrote the BDSM convention and working style properly, I've done a substantial amount of research and covered most of the lighter things.
> 
> P.S. My reason for having the hiatus is because I'm going to study abroad in Providence, Rhode Island for those weeks and I'm honestly not sure if they have wifi at the university I'm staying at. I'm posting this right before my flight, lmao.  
> ( ●♡∀♡) <(On the bright side, I heard the university has free ice cream)


	6. Two Lovers and Two Clueless Fools

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, sorry for the delay! I felt absolutely exhausted from the trip back to Cal and needed a couple of days to recover from jet lag. Here's the chapter!

Eli groans as she places her phone to the other end of the couch. She closes her eyes, hoping for a few seconds of shut-eye to relieve her from an incoming migraine. Kotori was certainly in a very serious predicament, but she had no idea how to give the younger girl any good advice. She was never that good with romance, despite her interests in the genre.

 

She hears Nozomi chuckle as she closes the door to their bedroom.

 

“Another problem at work, it seems?”

 

When Eli doesn’t respond, Nozomi puts something cold against her cheek. Eli instantly flinched awake and glares at Nozomi. She was about to reprimand her but decides against it when she sees the ice cream topped chocolate parfait in Nozomi’s hands. Her mouth starts to water and she tries to grab it, but Nozomi pulls back her hands an effort to tease her.

 

“You better tell me or else I’m not sharing.”

 

Eli grumbles, Nozomi always wins against her.

 

After a couple minutes of eating and explaining, Nozomi was in on everything Kotori told her just a few minutes ago.

 

“I-I don’t really know how to help them, Nozomi. Knowing Umi, Kotori’s probably dealt with this for a lot longer than we've known. Honestly, if it were me I would have given up ages ago.”

 

In Eli’s surprise, Nozomi snorts and starts laughing.

 

“What the heck, Nozomi!? This is a serious issue here!”

 

“Sorry, I’ve always known Kotori had a crush on Umi… It was almost like they met again through the power of hope.”

 

Eli eyes her in suspicion, scenarios with Nozomi spying on Kotori were already growing in her head. “Nozomi, don’t tell me… ”

 

Nozomi tries to suppress her own laughter. “It’s nothing, Elicchi! Don’t think about it too much!” When she sees Eli still looking at her disapprovingly, Nozomi starts to pout. “Oh, come on- I’m innocent!”

 

Eli rolls her eyes, pouring as much sarcasm in her sentence. “Sure you are.” She sighs. “Anyways, I need your advice on how to help Kotori and Umi out.”

 

Nozomi hums, amused by Eli’s trust in any plans that she makes. Eli should’ve known at this point that most of them ended with someone being pranked upon, but Nozomi thinks she’ll just save one of those plans for later. “How about you convince Umi to ask Kotori out on a date? While we’re at it, we could even have a double date with them.”

 

Eli sputters, nearly dropping spoonful of parfait she was holding. “That’s impossible!”

 

“Not if you convince Umi about it yourself.”

 

“H-how?”

 

“Okay, well, I’ll fill you in on the plan while we go to the movies. But first thing’s first, change out of your awful raccoon pajamas.”

 

Eli gets up and pouts. “It’s a _fox_ onesie, Nozomi, and I won’t change until you take that back.”

 

Nozomi giggles and kisses her on the head. “Alright then, I give up. Your fox onesie looks adorable on you, but we need to be at the movies in thirty minutes and you take twenty minutes to change.”

 

“Fuck.”

 

* * *

 

Umi sat in one of the benches that shaded her from the harsh sunlight. She checked her phone for any new messages from Kotori, but unfortunately, there were none. Umi was starting to get worried for her, she thought Kotori was being distant from her because of what happened several days ago. But it was better not to think about it, she had to study today since her professor was planning on giving them a test next week.

 

On her lap, she had two textbooks: one she was currently writing notes about on a separate sheet of paper, and the other was to give to Eli.

 

The blonde had called her out here today to borrow her finance textbook and study from it. Eli told her she started to manage a small local business and needed to review on some things she’d forgotten. Umi was curious on what kind of business opportunity Eli stumbled upon, but their phone call was interrupted by a very loud Nozomi, who was slurring words from another drunken stupor.

 

A phone notification brought her back from her focused studying. She quickly unlocked her screen and read the message.

 

**Eli: Hey Umi, are you at the park yet?**

 

**Umi: Yes, I am.**

 

**Eli: Good, I’m just about to be there**

 

**Umi: Alright, I will be waiting.**

 

Not a moment too soon, she spots the blonde walking and waving at her as she looks up from her phone. Eli is carrying two energy drinks and gives one to Umi. Eli takes off her sunhat and tugs at her sweaty tanktop. Judging from Eli’s messy appearance, Umi guessed she rushed to come here.

 

Umi puts aside the textbook she was studying from, tucking in her notes and pencil within its pages. She took the other book on her lap and handed it to Eli, who accepted it with a bit of trouble due to the weight. Instead of leaving, she abruptly drops the book on the bench and sits near Umi. Eli stretches for a bit, and glances the book worriedly.

 

“Th-this is the finance textbook? I expected it to be a lot smaller than this…”

 

Umi furrows her brows, confused by her statement. “Well it’s to be expected. You’ve never had finance textbook before? Didn’t you major in finance during college?”

 

“Ah, well, I switched into business after the first week. It gave me more benefits and I found it more applicable to the job I wanted.”

 

Umi raises an eyebrow in suspicion. “But here you are, borrowing my finance textbook.”

 

Eli puffs her cheeks and glares at her. “Oh Umi! I’m still managing a business, you know!”

 

Umi laughs, “I’m jesting, Eli. Of course I know that.”

 

“It’ s good you’ve finally developed a slight sense of humor, Umi. You were as stern as a military commander when you were in high school, I never thought you’d break out of that habit.”

 

“Don’t forget, Eli. You were almost as stern as I was, but because of Nozomi’s antics you let yourself be more tolerant of others. Speaking of which, I hope you’ve been able to control her mischievous side as of lately.”

 

 _Definitely not_ , Eli thinks. The only reason she came here was to convince Umi to go on a date with Kotori, the book she wanted to borrow was just a bonus. It was all Nozomi’s plan to meet Umi here, but she honestly has no idea how she’ll convince her junior to do as she says without getting into an embarrassed fit.

 

“Are you alright?”

 

Eli blinks out of her thought. “Ah, I’m fine. Um, did you saying anything?”

 

“I just asked you what business you’re managing. You haven’t talked about it yet.”

 

“Oh, well, it’s a club.”

 

“A club…?”

 

Eli internally curses to herself, she forgot Umi had already gone to the club she was managing. She hopes Umi won’t think anything of it, it would take a miracle for Umi to put two and two together. Eli thinks it’s time to redirect the topic to something else.

 

“Uh, yeah. It’s fairly new… Ah! Nozomi told me she wanted you to hang out with us next week. Will you be available?”

 

Umi furrows her brows in confusion. “I… think I will be. Where shall we go to?”

 

Eli smiles, feeling relieved. “It’ll be a surprise.”

 

“You know we both hate surprises, Eli.”

 

“It’s Nozomi’s idea, and there’s no way I can decline to her.”

 

Umi’s sighs and puts a palm to her face. “That’s even worse. There’s not a inch of me that would trust her with anything, especially preparing surprises.”

 

The blonde chuckles and stands up from her seat. She drinks the energy drink and finishes it easily. “I’m sure you’ll like the surprise, trust me.”

 

* * *

 

Kotori sat a dessert shop, idly sketching out fashion designs as she picked at her half eaten cake. She hadn’t been in a creative mood this whole week, and she knew it was thanks to what she discovered in her journal a few nights back. She hasn’t texted Umi in a week now, but that was for her own good.

 

Kotori was so preoccupied in her own thoughts that she didn’t notice someone calling out to her until they groped her chest. She immediately screams and slaps them.

 

She immediately recognizes the person from her violet hair.

 

“Nozomi-chan?!”

 

“Is that how you treat your senior, Kotori-chan?”

 

“It’s not my fault though, you were the one that sneaked up behind me!”

 

An employee comes up to the two and asks them if they’re alright, and Kotori dismisses them. While she does this, Nozomi pulls a chair from one of the other tables and sits in front of her. Nozomi takes the parfait she set aside on another table eats it nonchalantly. They both watch the employee leave before talking once again.

 

“Why are you here, Nozomi-chan?”

 

“I’m a regular here.” Nozomi takes another bite, and adds a more serious tone to her voice. “And you, aren’t you supposed to be in France?”

 

“I, um… I’m taking a vacation?”

 

Nozomi hums, her tone made Kotori think she knew that her reply was an obvious lie. As Nozomi stared her down with a mischievous smirk, Kotori gave into Nozomi’s peer pressure.

 

“Okay, I lied.”

 

Nozomi twirls her spoon in the parfait and eats one strawberry in it. “I know, Kotori-chan.”

 

“Did Eli-chan tell you?”

 

Nozomi nods. “It’s impossible for my girlfriend to keep secrets from me.”

 

Kotori laughs dejectedly. “I’m guessing you also know what happened between Umi-chan and I too?”

 

“Mhm, that’s also why I’m here to talk to you Kotori-chan.”

 

“But I thought we met out of coincidence? Didn’t you say you were a regular at this store?”

 

“Don’t underestimate my spiritual power of luck, Kotori-chan. The gods help whenever I need them to.” Nozomi pulls out a tarot card from her little purse, which is The Lovers faced up. She holds it between her index and middle finger for Kotori to see. The card has two people on it, with an angel in the clouds. “Eli and I your guardian angels, you know?”

 

The taupe haired girl never really understood how Nozomi’s spiritual power worked, but it seems like it is a genuine miracle that the girl would find her here. Not only that, Nozomi’s always been cryptic with her words, so it’s hard to decipher what she’s getting at until she does it.

 

Kotori looks at Nozomi in both fear and confusion. “So… What are you getting at?”

 

Nozomi puts the card away, and finishes up the rest of her parfait before she speaks. “I’ve planned out a surprise double date between you and Umi-chan.” Before Kotori can even protest, she places her index finger on the younger girl’s mouth and continues. “I’ve already asked Eli to convince Umi-chan somehow. She’s already given me a text message saying she’d already accepted.”

 

Kotori’s eyes widen. “B-but how?”

 

Nozomi shrugs. From her reaction Kotori knew she obviously didn’t think much of the details. She finishes her parfait then, and absentmindedly twirls her spoon to the sides of the glass cup. “What ever she did, it worked for Umi-chan. I’ll text you the details later, after I’ve discussed and agreed with a time and location that can fit Eli’s busy schedule.”

 

“Oh, um, okay then…”

 

Nozomi’s expression turns more serious, and she places a hand on Kotori’s shoulder. “Hey, Kotori-chan. Don’t beat yourself up over what you like, alright?”

 

“But I’m not, Nozomi-chan. I just think it’s better not to talk to Umi-chan or other people in μ's…”

 

“And look where that’s getting you.” Nozomi pulls her hand back, and cups her own chin with her hand. “None of us would ever judge you for this, Kotori. There’s nothing wrong in what your heart says to you. I hate to see you this isolated and miserable, I'm sure the others would be too, if they knew you were actually here."

 

“Nozomi-chan, I know you’re right but… I’m just not ready yet.”

 

Nozomi gives her a genuine, comforting smile. “Don’t worry about how long it will take, we’ll all wait for you.”


	7. Imbalance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it's a little late, but here's the chapter. I was having lots of difficulties trying to write this one. HUGE thanks to @sockycake for helping me plan this out. Check out her fics as well!
> 
> Inspiration for this chapter's Koto-costume: http://i.schoolido.lu/c/963idolizedKotori.png

“Um, Nozomi, why are we at the club again?”

 

“We’re here to pick up a few people.”

 

“... Eh?”

 

Umi has no idea why they’re back at the club they went to three weeks ago. Eli had told her this was going to be a surprise, but she was unsure of what was in store for her. She expected Eli to arrive at her door this afternoon, but instead it was Nozomi. But from all of the unanticipated events that have unfolded this morning, Umi could sense it wasn’t good.

 

Umi really has to stop falling for Nozomi’s antics, but as always, she ends up forgetting until the older girl had another opportunity to strike.

 

They step into the club and Umi notes that Nozomi didn’t bother paying to get in this time- she just had a card. All of her questions were piling up, but Umi knew better than to ask Nozomi. She was always cryptic and Umi's learned that her actions will always speak louder than her words. Not to mention, over the years, her mischievous behavior has only increased in terms of pranks and humor. She knew wiser to just stay on guard for any antics the older girl would pull on her.

 

As they entered, Umi has to cover her nose from the smell of alcohol all over the building. In contrast, Nozomi seemed to be unaffected by the loud music and stench, her only reaction is to pull Umi’s arm as she walks up a flight of stairs with her.

 

Nozomi barges into the manager’s office when they arrive at the second floor. Umi looks around in panic, she's unsure on whether to scold Nozomi or flee to save herself.

 

“Heya Elicchi! I brought her like you asked!”

 

Umi whips her head to look at Nozomi in both surprise and confusion.

 

The manager, Eli, was sitting in her chair and her eyes were completely focused on the laptop in front of her. Nozomi broke her trance and grabbed her attention by slamming her hands on the table in front of her. Eli nearly fell out of her seat and dropped her laptop due to the mere sound of it.

 

Nozomi pushes up Eli’s red rimmed fashion glasses- Eli denies they’re prescripted- and takes the laptop from her hands to set it aside on the table. Eli blinks a couple of times before speaking. “W-what… Nozomi?”

 

Nozomi pouts. “Did you forget the plan already, Elicchi?”

 

Umi, who’s been watching the scene unfold since the start, steps between them. “What plan? I wasn’t informed on this. Eli, what are we doing?”

 

Eli looks at Umi, then at Nozomi, and back at her. “Well, didn’t I tell you it was going to be a surprise?”

 

A door knock interrupts Umi from responding to Eli’s answer. Umi heads to the door quickly and a familiar voice chimes in as she opens it. “Hey, Eli. I just wanted to ask when the sanitary equipment will be restocked and- huh?”

 

Kotori’s eyes wander throughout the room, and then meet with hers. It seems that Kotori was wearing a much more shameful outfit than before. She glanced up her outfit, from the laced stockings, crimson dress, and black, frilly accessories that adorned her costume. Umi slowly notices Kotori giving her a knowing smile, and right then Umi breaks eye contact. She could already feel her cheeks heating up.

 

Eli coughs pointedly at the two. “The sanitary products will come in around three days or so. You should go change soon, Kotori.”

 

Umi looks between the two, she’s utterly confused.

 

Kotori merely smiles at Eli. “Are you planning on changing too?”

 

Eli nods. “Yep, just here though, so just shut the door when you leave. Oh, and take care of Umi for me, will you? I’m going to handle some more emails-” Nozomi groans loudly beside her. “-And I’ll just send you a text when I’m finished.”

 

“Alright then, we’ll leave you two now.”

 

She grabs Umi’s wrist and urges her out the door. The two look away from each other and Kotori speaks first.

 

“Um, where do you want to stay?”

 

“Somewhere quiet.”

 

* * *

 

During awkward movie scenes, Kotori could remember herself giggling due to the sheer humor of the awkward silence passed between two characters. She found it funny how they took so long to speak with one another, and thought it would have been a lot easier to just let the characters get straight to the topic.

 

But I guess movies can speak some truth after all.

 

Kotori sat on the bed she used to service clients, and beside her was Umi, who looked equally mortified by the embarrassing situation as she was. She attempts to cover her outfit with the blanket that was casted away on the opposite end, but her attempts were futile since Umi had already seen her when she walked in.

 

“Uh, sorry, I didn’t know you were coming…”

 

“M-me neither, Nozomi brought me here.”

 

“A second time, huh. Why?”

 

“I’m not so sure myself, you came in before they could give me any answers.”

 

Kotori remembers what Nozomi said to her, she didn’t want to tell Umi it would be a double date. She knew the poor girl would faint at the notion of anything romantic. Besides, it would resurface hidden feelings that she didn’t want to confess, especially to Umi.

 

“Hmm, same here.” Kotori really hates to lie but it’s really become a bad habit these days.

 

“I see.”

 

* * *

 

Umi finds it crazy to see so many sides of the taupe haired girl that she never discovered before. It was like she was facing the polar opposite of everything she’d known about Kotori. The devil-themed (and seductive, but she dare not admit it) outfit, contrasted from the white dress and she changed into. It’s a little confusing and amazing at the same time.

 

Without Honoka, there wasn’t anything else Umi could focus her attention on other than Kotori. There was only a handful of moments they’ve shared alone, but that never lasted too long. Since the three of them have been kids, Honoka was always the friend that tied them together and lead them to wherever she wanted.

 

Without her, what were Kotori and Umi supposed to be?

 

“Um, Kotori?”

 

“What is it?”

 

“Why have you been avoiding me?”

 

It was difficult to see her expression, but she could make out Kotori’s smile illuminating from the faint light of the bedside lamp. “I haven’t been avoiding you, Umi-chan. I’ve just been busy with work, that’s all.”

 

This answer sounded reasonable, but something in her gut told her Kotori wasn’t telling the whole story. “I…”

 

Umi clenches her fists, she knew exactly why she felt something was off.

 

“How did Nozomi and Eli know that you were back?”

 

Kotori shrugged her comment off. “When I applied for the job, I had no idea that the manager was Eli. With Nozomi, well, she ended up finding out sooner or later because she visited Eli a lot.”

 

Umi’s chest tightens, she feels as if she can’t breathe but tries to steady herself by gripping the bed’s frame. “And how long have you been working here?”

 

“Two months, I suppose.”

 

That was another jab at her heart, Umi thinks she’ll suffocate if she stays in room for too long. “And you didn’t bother to tell me that you were in Japan at least?”

 

“I already told you, Umi-”

 

“It was a promise.”

 

“I… what?”

 

Umi glares at Kotori, she’s never gotten this upset with her before. “Six years ago-” Her voice was trembling too much, she gulps and clears her throat before she continues. “You told me you’d get into contact with me when you’d return- at the airport- remember?”

 

“I don’t… remember.” Kotori shifts away from her, the distance hurts Umi the most. “Why are you so worried over this? It was my decision to leave and return, and it may be selfish, but please respect my decisions.”

 

Why was she so upset over this? Umi has no idea but once she’d asked herself that question she feels it ringing in her head over and over. She feels absolutely helpless and she knew Kotori was right. They were both adults, they had their own lives to live, she really shouldn’t be so sensitive. There's no point in confronting Kotori about this…

 

But she does anyway.

 

“Kotori. I’ve been your friend since childhood and you’ve never broken a promise between me and Honoka. I know I worry a lot but it’s been _years_ since we’ve had a full conversation. With the three of us.” She has no idea why she’s adding Honoka into this. If she were to be honest, she’d done most of the worrying while Honoka completely supported her decisions during her time away. “Am I the only one who’s been worried this whole time? Does our friendship mean nothing anymore?”

 

“Our friendship has always been meaningful. We may not be as connected as before, but sometimes it can’t be helped.” Ah, it’s that smile again. Kotori’s smile used to be so genuine in high school, now it looks as if she’s wearing a mask to conceal herself from Umi. She hates it.

 

“Are you saying we can’t do anything about it?”

 

“No, you’re just living too much in the past is all.”

 

“This isn’t about the past. I just want us to be together again.”

 

“I don’t think that’ll be possible Umi.”

 

“Tell me why we can’t, I swear, I’ll do anything to fix it.”

 

There’s a split second where Kotori’s smile drops, but from how quick she goes back to cheerful, Umi could’ve even imagined it.

 

“I don’t think you’d be able to fix it at all.”

 

A wave of emotions hit Umi and she finds her own hand swinging at Kotori’s face with the full intention of slapping her back into her senses.

 

* * *

 

Out of all the years she’d been with Umi, she’s never cried, not even once. The closest Kotori could remember was when they were at the train station with the seven other μ's members. Even then, Umi was only on the verge of crying the whole time.

 

But now, Umi failed to hide the tears that fell down her face. Her expression was grave and full of emotion as she frowned and stared at Kotori in silence. Everything from her body language to her eyes told Kotori she was still holding herself back.

 

The hand that was meant to slap Kotori was being restrained by Umi’s other arm, which was slightly trembling. Umi sighs and drags the hand to her lap, gripping her own leg until her knuckles turned white.

 

Kotori bites her lip, slumping as she grips the sheets of the bed in mild frustration and guilt. “I take that back. I shouldn’t have said that.”

 

Umi makes no attempts to speak. She only rubs her eyes with her sleeve and brings her legs up to hug them.

 

In any other occasion, Kotori would have found this incredibly adorable but the fact that she’s the one who caused her sadness made it hard for her to think otherwise. She thought Umi was just concerned for her, but instead she'd deeply hurt her friend's feelings by what she said. Now that she thought about it, what she said _was_ incredibly inconsiderate. Umi held their friendship close to her heart, and Kotori had just addressed her problems as if it weren't important whatsoever.

 

She sends Eli a texts to go ahead. If Umi wanted to play the silent treatment game, then so be it. From all the times she’d help Umi cool down after intense arguments with Honoka, she’s sure she could help the girl relax easily.

 

“Umi-chan, come here.”

 

After a moment of hesitance, Umi crawls over to her. Kotori immediately pulls her into a reassuring embrace. “I’m sorry, Umi. I had no idea you felt this way. You’re alright now, I’m hear to listen.” She rubs Umi’s back soothingly and feels Umi bury her head on her shoulder in return. Kotori can feel her sleeve getting damper and she mentally notes to take off her sweater when they go see Eli and Nozomi.

 

“I don’t want to talk.”

 

“That’s fine too. Take your time.”

 

* * *

 

They end up being an hour late when they meet up with Eli and Nozomi at a dessert cafe. The couple doesn’t ask them any questions when they see Umi with puffy eyes and a red nose. Kotori and Umi sit opposite to them, only Kotori greeted them when they arrived. They didn’t say much to Eli and Nozomi, Kotori thinks they could sense the tense atmosphere as well. After they finish their desserts, they call it a day and leave after they pay for the desserts they ate.

 

Kotori expected the girl to walk in the opposite direction after the little “argument” they had in the club, but she was walking side by side with her.

 

“Isn’t your house in the opposite direction, Umi-chan?”

 

“It is.”

 

“Why are you following me then?”

 

“It’s getting late, it’s dangerous to walk alone.”

 

“Ah, thanks.”

 

“Mhm.”

 

Kotori glances at her watch: it was 7:40 PM. She’s barely noticed the sun setting and the sky’s color turning into a calming red. As they walk by one of the glass-walled shops in the city she realizes that she, too, had flushed cheeks that matched the same hue.

 

“You know, I met someone in France that was like a carbon-copy of Honoka.”

 

Umi snorts, it seems her silent treatments aren’t as long now that she’s an adult.

 

“I hope you didn’t spoil her during your time abroad.”

 

“Maybe a little.”

 

“Kotori… “

 

“Ease up, Umi-chan! We both spoiled each other so it was a mutual benefit!”

 

“If you say so.”

 

They arrive at Kotori’s apartment after a half an hour walk. Umi stares at her as she takes out the keys from her bag’s pocket and opens the door. Kotori nearly forgets Umi is there from how quiet she was. Umi awkwardly fidgets, and Kotori giggles a bit. She pats her head hoping to reassure the younger girl. It works, and she feels Umi relax under her touch.

 

“Thanks for taking me home.”

 

“It’s no problem.”

 

“Take care, Umi-chan.”

 

“You too, Kotori.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I may post every two weeks after this update, school is starting up again soon and I need a lot of time to plot this thing out. I might be able to squeeze in several one-shots here and there as well, so don't worry!


	8. Stability

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> With the 100 kudos, the hiatus spell has been broken! Thank you for the support everyone, I hope to finish this story now that school's coming to an end in a few weeks. Hope you enjoy!

Umi returns home with no trouble. Well, other than the troubles on her mind that is.

 

Her stomach dropped when she realized she was close to hitting Kotori back in the club. She knew she had a bad feeling about coming along with Nozomi, but she was so busy comprehending the events happening to her that she'd neglected to pay attention to it. Nozomi didn’t mean them harm of course, it was all her fault that the day was ruined.

 

She acted on impulse again- a habit she swore to fix after she graduated from high school. It turns out her attempts of getting rid of it haven't worked the slightest bit. Honoka had confronted her about it before, she admitted how much she’d disliked Umi’s rampages and thought most problems could’ve been handled a lot better than what she did.

 

Honoka was definitely right, but being strict and intimidating have been ingrained into her mind since the day she was born. It was hard to separate “Umi, heir of the Sonoda dojo” from the rest of her personality, because that was everything her parent’s expectations wanted her to become.

 

Umi’s ringtone pushed her away from those thoughts.

 

**Kotori: Hey Umi chan, I just wanted to apologize for today again. I didn’t mean to be so cruel to you, and I know I really hurt your feelings. I can understand if you’re mad at me, but let me make it up to you somehow.**

 

Umi blinks, surprised by her statement. She honestly wondered how Kotori was still willing to talk to her.

 

**Umi: I was not mad, I just got caught up with some mixed feelings is all. Don’t worry about it.**

 

**Kotori: oh, that’s good!**

 

**Kotori: let’s meet up with Honoka, just as you said**

 

**Umi: Huh?**

 

**Kotori: Would that be okay with you? I know you wanted us to spend some time together, so I hope that would help cheer you up.**

 

**Umi: But Kotori, I should be the one apologizing to you. You nearly got hurt because of me.**

 

There was something odd about the fact that Kotori was the one trying to apologize to her. Then again, Kotori always took the blame because of her good spirit. Despite this, Umi felt that there was some sort of imbalance between them, and she needed to fix at once.

 

A hasty call was the only solution Umi came up with. Texting was too slow for her.

 

“Oh, hey Umi-chan. Why did you call?”

 

“Kotori, we really need to talk things through this time. I had no idea what I was thinking when I almost slapped you, and I promise it won’t happen again. It was all my fault.”

 

“We’re both at fault here, so don’t blame yourself okay?”

 

Umi tried her best to protest, but as always, Kotori won the argument. Having no more words left to say, Umi grumbled in defeat. She could hear a faint giggle from Kotori on the other end.

 

“Now, about the meet up with Honoka, I’m available every Sunday. If you and Honoka are free by then, we can discuss where we should go and what we could do. I think we should make it a surprise that I’m here.” She hears Kotori giggle as she finishes her statement.

 

Umi hums in agreement. “Alright, I’ll text her later on then.”

 

* * *

 

Next Sunday arrived fairly quickly for Umi, who’s glad to take a break after all the college course she took during the week. Umi cuffs her shirt’s sleeves and ties her hair in a ponytail, hoping it would be enough for the hot weather.

 

The plans were laid out to her during the week, which were directed by Kotori. The first step Kotori asked of her was to go to Homura’s Bakery to pick up Honoka. It’s been forever since she’d seen the ginger, and even longer for Kotori. Each time Kotori called her, she could hear a faint change in her tone that only meant she was getting more excited as the days went by. Umi initially expected the girl to be hesitant and worried about reuniting with Honoka once again, but Kotori seemed as if she was fine with it all.

 

Umi jogs to the bakery and gets there thirty minutes before the shop opens.

 

Honoka gasps as she enters. “Umi-chan! Long time no see, it’s like I haven’t seen you in a decade!”

 

Resisting the urge to roll her eyes, Umi gives a heavy sigh. “It’s only been a week.”

 

“That’s why I said _‘like’_ I haven’t seen you in a decade, dummy!"

 

Despite her desire to smack some sense into Honoka’s jokes (or her logic, for the matter) she lets Honoka hug her tightly. It’s been awhile since she’d received a hug from anyone other than her family, but even then the amount of physical touch is still incredibly low.

 

“Okay Honoka, I’ll let that stupid joke slide for once because I’m in a decent mood.”

 

Honoka’s ears perk up from this statement. “Ohh? What’s gotcha into that?”

 

“I’ve got a special guest for you, I’m sure it will knock your socks off.”

 

“But Umi, I’m not even wearing socks. I have slippers on!”

 

Umi grumbles in frustration, typical Honoka. “You know that’s not what I was meaning to say, besides, isn’t it a little unprofessional to wear slippers during your work hours? Quit that habit already, if you don’t you may start getting customer complaints on how your feet look.”

 

Honoka gives a fake, hurt expression. Umi remembers the girl saying she was grateful Umi developed a sense of humor after high school, but the downsides were that those jokes were usually directed towards her. “Wow Umi, my feet are decent-looking. You should praise me on how confident and brave I am for showing my lovely, beautiful, stunning-”

 

“The only thing customers will notice is your poorly painted nails.”

 

Her remark leaves Honoka in silence, it seems Umi has won their little banter. It’s the third time in a row. It takes her a couple of moments to realize arguing with Honoka wasn’t what she was here for, and goes right back to the subject at hand.

 

“Moving that aside Honoka, you should go change. We’re leaving in a couple of minutes.”

 

“Ugh, why? I know I told you Yukiho will be in charge of the shop today but it doesn’t mean I’d want to go on an adventure with you at like, eight in the morning.”

 

“Look, it’s a surprise. She’ll come here anytime soon by now.”

 

Honoka frowns in annoyance. “If Eli and Nozomi dared you to do this so I could go on a date with Tsubasa again I swear I will flip my shi-”

 

The door to the shop opens right before she could finish her sentence.

 

“Honoka!”

 

* * *

 

Initially, Honoka glares at the source of the sound, and wonders if Tsubasa’s voice had moved a couple pitches higher. But after seeing the familiar, signature hairstyle and trendy fashion sense, Honoka knew exactly who she was in a mere milliseconds.

 

She throws herself at Kotori and makes both of them fall instantly. “KOTORI-CHAN! I’ve missed you so much! What was it like in France? Was it like, super duper cool and did they make a ton of good desserts there? How were your classes? Did you make a fashion line yet? I’m sure you’re pretty popular these days, I mean, you did study abroad and all and I know the outfits you created are really cute!”

 

Kotori takes a second to get up and tries to process all the questions Honoka bombarded at her. Umi helps both of them up and whacks Honoka on the shoulder. Kotori feels a hint of nostalgia from the scene unfolding in front of her, and smiles. “Okay so… France was cold and I met some really unique people. There were lots of desserts, my favorite was the crepes. My classes were good, but I wasn’t really able to get a fashion line started there.” Kotori chuckles nervously.

 

Honoka gives her a huge, warm grin. “Well, that’s okay. At least you tried your best and had an awesome experience there, right? And you could totally still create a fashion line here in Tokyo, you’re still famous even now!”

 

“I-I am?”

 

“Yeah you are! There are still magazines out there that talk about the stuff you made and they always compliment your creativity!”

 

Kotori blushes and says thank you. Receiving compliments is another thing she hasn’t had in awhile, either. From her periphery she sees Umi smiling as well, it makes her heart flutter, only a little.

 

After waiting a painstakingly long time for Honoka to get ready, the trio begin to walk to the inner parts of the city to look for something to do. Usually, Kotori would have planned out a schedule for something like this, but she honestly believed it was more fitting for the trio to find an activity to do together.

 

A shopping spree, bread store, and art gallery later, they initially planned on returning to Honoka’s house to rest from the long day. But for some odd reason, Honoka was able to convince Umi and Kotori to stay for a late night karaoke session. Umi didn’t mind though, she seemed to enjoy herself as she sang and Kotori was satisfied listening to her.

 

Honoka scooted beside Kotori, a glass half full of alcohol in her hand nearly spilling on her clothes. She starts laughing out of nowhere, which startles Kotori and Umi. Taking out her phone from her pocket, she starts dialing up a number and smiles brightly as the two stare dumbfoundedly at her.

 

Umi was the first to express her concern. “H-hey Honoka… Are you alright?”

 

“Yesh I’m good! I’m feelin’ better than alright!” Honoka raises her beverage as if to assert her confidence. A dopey grin, flushed cheeks, and slurred words told Kotori otherwise.

 

Kotori changes the subject to what’s concerning her more. “Honoka who are you calling?”

 

“I’m callin’ Tshubasa-chan!”

 

The color immediately drains from Umi’s complexion. “Wait… Tsubasa. _Kira_ , Tsubasa?!”

 

She nods just in time for Tsubasa to pick up the phone, they listen in on Honoka but can’t make up much of what the other was saying. When the phone call ended, both girls cornered Honoka instantly.

 

“Honoka, why did you call her? That was rude!”

 

“Oh my, Honoka. Are you guys that close already?”

 

Umi feels a migraine beginning to develop due to Honoka’s wild antics, she rubs her temples and tries to smile in spite of her frustration. “No they aren’t, Kotori, but Tsubasa does visit her the most out of all members. She occasionally buys from the shop and gives her gifts out of respect, I believe.”

 

Kotori puffs her cheeks. “Geez, Umi! You’re too dense!”

 

“Wh-what?”

 

Kotori lowers her voice to ensure that Honoka wouldn’t hear her, Umi scoots closer to her to hear clearly. “Anyone can tell that they’re dating! Haven’t you seen the pictures with them together?”

 

Umi gasps, turning her head to Honoka, then back to Kotori. “I-I remember her mentioning something about a date a couple months ago, but I didn’t expect it to be _that_ kind of date…”

 

Kotori sighs, Umi feels embarrassed. It seems like Umi really does need more time to learn about love, even after all these years.

 

* * *

 

Tsubasa arrives to pick up Honoka half an hour later, leaving the two on their own in the karaoke room. The songs continued playing, but both of them weren’t really in a mood to sing, it was too tense. At one point, a muse song plays and something within Kotori’s heart clenches in nostalgia, and from the looks of Umi’s own expression, she was in deep reminiscence as well.

 

“Do you remember the last time all of us went to karaoke together?”

 

Kotori finishes her drink before she smiles, eyes avoiding Umi’s gaze. “I believe so. It was a couple of weeks before the third years graduated, right?”

 

Umi hums in agreement. “Those were good times, we should have another one of those soon. It’ll be a lot more fun with you being here with us. Finally-” Kotori accidentally meets Umi’s gaze, she was smiling. “-we’ll have all nine of us together.”

 

It was weird, Kotori thought, that Umi was able to forgive her like this. Leaving the country and studying abroad without keeping in touch. The resentment Kotori saw in Umi’s face a few days prior was all gone now, and replaced with an Umi that’s just happy her best friend is back after all these years.

 

Kotori wonders why she’d never reached out to Umi or Honoka when she got back- no, she regrets it. She was scared for no reason, her fears overcame what was most important: her love for the two best friends that been with her since childhood.

 

“Hey, Kotori.”

 

“Mm, what is it, Umi-chan?”

 

“How would you feel if we had another one of these with all nine of us together? A day to hang out, I mean.”

 

Kotori smiles, "I think it'd be a great idea."

 

Though her thoughts and insecurities filled the back of her mind with anxiety from mending her relationship with the other members, she could always rely on Umi being by her side.


	9. Anemone Heart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Long time to see. I just wanted to give a quick heads up that I reformatted this chapter along with the others to make it fit more of the style I use now. I'll be asking some friends to proofread them as well, just in case. 
> 
> I also set this on Nozomi's birthday because I was supposed to publish it then (as a birthday gift to Lily), but finals and commissions ended up snatching my wig, so I apologize for that! 
> 
> Anyways, here's the story! I hope you all will enjoy it!

All it took were baby steps. Slow, careful ones to tie their bonds together as they were in the past.

 

Before Umi knew it, the childhood trio were back together again, like they were before Kotori left for France.  The icy tension that Umi had when Kotori wasn’t around melted into renewed friendship. They hung out more frequently, even meeting up with at least one or two of their old friends whenever they were free.

 

Of course, this inevitably led to Nozomi convincing Kotori to join the annual get together all of the former μ's members.

 

Umi feared Kotori would decline, mostly because she’d done so before… for the past five years. But she’d felt a great sense of relief when Kotori texted her a week ago telling Umi she’d accepted the invite Nozomi gave for the party. Umi figured Kotori had to accept under pressure when she thought about it longer, it was Nozomi’s birthday, after all.

 

Since Nozomi requested the get together party to be in the lesbian club Eli owned, Kotori was given a free day instead of coming to her shift in that hour. Umi was able to come early because the dojo was closed for the weekend, which meant more time to spend with Kotori and Honoka.

 

Though she’d visited the place three times, Umi still can’t get over the lingering feeling of shame and nervousness she had just like the first time Nozomi and Rin brought her here.

 

When she stepped through the doors of the building, Umi was a bit jarred by the lack of loud music, sweat, and heat the place usually had. Instead, the lack of people and dim lights made the interior feel cozy and welcoming.

 

“Do you like the atmosphere?” A pat on the back makes Umi flinch, but when she’d realized it was Eli she gave a warm smile. “What’s up, Umi? I didn’t expect you to come by so early. Nico and I are still preparing Nozomi’s surprise while she’s picking up her own cake.”

 

“Nico is here…? I thought she was going to be coming later tonight because her tour was on a tight schedule.”

 

A voice behind Eli speaks. “Geez, haven’t you ever heard of ‘lying’? You should try it sometime to save you some trouble, Umi.” Eli chuckles awkwardly and moves aside, revealing the same raven haired and red eyed girl she’d known for ages.

 

“Nico! It’s a pleasure meeting you here. Have the lyrics I wrote for you helped whatsoever?”

 

Nico flashes Umi a grin before giving her a hug. “Of course it did! Only a great idol such as myself would make sure your lyrics got the spotlight it deserved. I paid you enough for your amazing writing skills, didn’t I?”

 

“I think it’s too much money for me to know what to do with.”

 

“That’s even better!”

 

The three of them share a laugh, this was another thing Umi had missed about being in an idol group with them. “It’s just like old times. I’m glad we were able to invite Kotori to Nozomi’s birthday after all these years-” Umi stops mid thought, realizing she hadn’t seen Kotori this entire time. “Speaking of which, where is she?”

 

Eli hums and cups her own chin in thought, “She left a while ago to accompany Nozomi. I asked her to stall as much time as she could with Nozomi… I can only hope that Kotori’s resolve is strong enough to not spill the beans if Nozomi asks her anything.”

 

Nico chuckles, “I sure hope so.”

 

Umi felt a little disappointed she couldn’t talk to Kotori a bit before all of the other members came around, but she knew better than to just sit around and wait when she could help Eli and Nico prepare for the upcoming birthday.

 

Putting the present she’d picked for Nozomi on a table, she follows through with all the tasks both of her seniors ask of her.

 

* * *

 

Several more of the μ's members came along as time flew by. It was only Eli, Nico, and Umi at first, but within the first hour Rin and Hanayo showed up. Honoka came in a couple of minutes later three bags of pastries (which Umi scolded Honoka because ran while carrying them down the stairs), and Maki came in last with two presents (one, Umi presumed, was a welcome back gift for Nico).

 

The last two people they were waiting for were Nozomi and Kotori. Eli received a message from Kotori that they’d be back any minute now, and the seven of them had to scramble into hiding spots for the surprise.

 

From the chaos of voices, Eli’s voice gets everyone's attention. “Everyone! Have you all found places to hide in?”

 

Umi surveyed the room. Despite being adults, many of the members were still clever enough to find spots they could hide in without having to worry about their size. Umi crouched under one of the tables, Nico stayed in a large cupboard, Eli and Nozomi hid near a couple of large stereos, and the first years ended up huddling together behind the bar.

 

“We’re all clear, nya!” Rin replies to Eli first. Hanayo gives a nod and Maki just sighs.

 

“Shh! Don’t be dumb and ruin the surprise before it even happens!” Nico calls out.

 

“Shut up Nico, you’re the only loud and talking one right now.” Maki retorts.

 

Nico grumbles and Maki just rolls her eyes. Umi sometimes wonders how those two ever got together after all these years. Just like Honoka and Tsubasa’s relationship, she didn’t have the slightest clue that they had gotten together until she’d heard the news from Nico herself. She’d been called ‘dense’ by many people before (mostly Eli), but she never knew the true extent of it until Nico explained it to her.

 

It was a couple of months before, when Nico called Umi out during one of her tours abroad. She called with the intent of asking Umi to write her lyrics again, but the conversation had somehow delved into Umi’s romantic experiences.

 

_“What do you mean you’ve never had your first kiss?! You’re an adult, and you still haven’t done anything related to romance?”_

 

_“I-I just never thought about it… or had the time…”_

 

_“Don’t give me that, Umi. I’m an idol and even I have time for Maki! Do you want to die alone as a cat lady or something? You’re headed that route for sure.”_

 

 _“Cats aren’t so bad!”_  
  
“Umi… do you even know what you’re interested in?”

 

_“What do you mean?”_

 

_“As in like, preferred gender?”_

 

_That makes Umi go silent for a moment. Sure, she knows most of her friends have interests in girls, but does that mean she does too? Instead of giving a direct answer, Umi just tells Nico she doesn’t know._

 

_“Hm, try envisioning yourself with a boy, then a girl. Can you see any difference with it?”_

 

_“Well I don’t know Nico, I’ve been around with both genders during archery practice so I don’t understand what you’re saying-”_

 

_Nico groans loudly, “Ugh, okay, try thinking about you kissing either a boy or a girl.”_

 

_“B-but that’s too shameful!”_

 

_“JUST DO IT UMI.”_

 

_“I… Alright.” Umi hesitates for a moment, but when she’s ready she closes her eyes to picture herself in both scenarios. It was difficult to envision kissing a guy, and it always ended with her pushing them away or acting out of self defense. But with a girl…_

 

_Umi starts blushing furiously. Partially because she’d found it pleasant, but another part realized she’d envisioned herself kissing a certain taupe haired childhood friend on the receiving end._

 

_She’d known then that she was definitely attracted to girls._

 

_Umi can hear Nico sighing on the phone, “You done daydreaming yet?”_

 

_“Oh, I, hm. I think I prefer girls as well.”_

 

_“Ah, that makes the eight of us huh.”_

 

_“The eight?”_

 

_“Mm, so we’ve confirmed that at least eight of the μ's members gay. Not too sure about Kotori, though. Because you know, since we haven’t been in contact with her and all that. But I wouldn’t be too surprised if she was.”_

 

Umi chuckles to herself, Nico was right. Kotori confirmed with her that day when she visited Umi in her family’s dojo.

 

As if Kotori had read her mind and knew she was thinking of her, she receives a text.

 

 **Kotori:** Heya Umi-chan! Tell the others Nozomi and I are arriving in a couple of seconds.

 **Umi:** Alright. We’re already in position, so you don’t need to worry about that.

 **Kotori:** ah, that’s great!

 **Kotori:** also, I have a gift for you

 **Kotori:** I’ll give it to you after the party, okay?

 **Umi:** mm, thank you

 **Kotori:** no problem!

 

Umi smiles to herself as she puts her phone away. She calls attention to the seven others in the room and makes sure Nozomi gets the surprise she deserves.

 

It was pure luck that Kotori caught Nozomi’s cake when she dropped it in shock.

 

* * *

 

“That prank you guys pulled was unfair! If Kotori hadn’t caught the cake, we’d all be cakeless!”

 

Honoka giggles, “But we had to change things up this year! It wouldn’t be fun without a new surprise every time.”

 

Nozomi pouts, “Well, I guess so. But next time, I’m pranking you guys as punishment, alright?”

 

Everyone gulps and makes a defeated nod. Nozomi smirks and downs another shot cup, “Then that’s settled!”

 

Umi laughs alongside the rest of her friends, but her attention keeps focusing on how cute Kotori looked. She was wearing an emerald green mini skirt and white blouse, perfect for the weather and the occasion. Kotori wore a blush on her face and several of the buttons were unbutton due to the summer heat seeping into the building. Not to mention, Kotori’s lips looked a bit softer than usual…

 

Umi was definitely drunk.

 

A hand across her face startles her, she turns to the direction of the hand, it was Hanayo’s. “H-hey Umi, are you doing alright? You’ve been staring into space for quite a bit…”

 

“Yeah, Umi seems kinda off nya…” Rin adds in, poking a finger at her cheek.

 

Umi clears her throat and tries to get up, she loses her balance a lot quicker than she’d expected and only stops herself inches away from landing on Hanayo. All eyes were on her now. “I-I’m fine, I just need a little rest is all.”

 

Kotori decided to take action first, “I can bring Umi to one of the rooms. Eli, do you still have medicine for hangovers?”

 

Eli nods, “It should be in my office, I can bring it up to the room when you need it.”

 

Umi hears Kotori give her thanks to Eli and takes Umi’s arm. “You can rest in one of the vacant bdsm rooms. Don’t worry, they’re all clean.”

 

Umi hums, leaning against Kotori for support. “I’ll be well rested in no time, Kotori. I’m sure of it.”

 

“And how many times have you ever gotten drunk?”

 

The silence between them gives Kotori the answer. Kotori chuckles, “So you thought you could hold your liquor, huh?

 

Umi hides her face in embarrassment, “Just please let me rest already.”

 

“Of course.”

 

* * *

 

Umi’s built frame made it difficult for Kotori to walk as Umi leaned heavily on her.

 

Hands that were cupping her cheeks slowly found their way to the back of Kotori’s neck, she sees Umi’s head tilt and Kotori breathes in for a moment, wondering if she had drank too much alcohol and accidentally slipped into a dream-

 

But when Umi’s lips connected with hers, Kotori’s hazy mind instantly cleared up to the only thing she could focus on.

 

Umi had just kissed her.

 

It wasn’t at all what she’d expect from a first kiss (not that she had expected one at all, especially not with Umi). All she could taste from Umi was the tarty, sweet flavor of the alcohol she had consumed prior. Kotori could feel Umi’s rough hands on her neck, begging her to come closer.

 

Kotori knew better than that though, if Umi and her went any further Kotori would regret it for the rest of her life.

 

She reaches out to gently pull Umi’s hands away from her, it was easier than she’d expected. Pulling herself away from the kiss, Kotori takes a moment to catch her breath before speaking. “Umi, you’re drunk. You don’t want to do this right now.”

 

Though Kotori found it was a failed attempt to get Umi to snap out of her drunken daze, she somehow successfully managed to get Umi to stop. Umi grumbles and says something incoherent before she puts her head against Kotori’s shoulder. It was only when Kotori heard a faint snore that she’d realized Umi had fallen asleep on her.

 

“Quite the lightweight, huh…”

 

Kotori’s own message tone startles her when it suddenly goes off. She wonders if it was Eli who texted her, asking about the hangover medicine to be brought up to Umi at this time.

 

Instead she sees the contact name and immediately feels her gut twist.

 

 **Mother:** Hello Kotori, I just wanted to let you know that I found out about the new job you’re working at. Being in this environment is unacceptable. If you cannot quit your job now, I’ll have to take away my portion for renting out your apartment. Please contact me as soon as you can so we can straighten this out.

 

Kotori winces and throws the phone quickly after she read the message. It accidentally hits Umi, who rubs her eyes groggily after being awoken from her short nap.

 

“A-ah, shi- I’m sorry Umi! I didn’t mean to hit you.”

 

“It’s fine, um-” Umi looks for the object that was thrown at her, and eyes squint when she realizes what it was. “Wh-why did you throw your phone…?”

 

Kotori waves a hand in dismissal, “It was nothing!”

Umi gives her a dubious look before looking at the phone screen’s notifications, revealing what her mother had said. Kotori looks away in embarrassment and shame. It takes a few seconds for Umi to read and process everything in her drunken stupor, but to Kotori it felt like hours.

 

“So… She’s evicting you because of the job you have right now? That seems a bit unfair.”

 

Kotori smiles sadly to herself. “Perhaps.”

 

“If it helps, I can come with you to see your mother and convince her to still pay for part of your apartment while still being able to work in your job. You like it here, right?”

 

Kotori can feel tears welling up in her eyes when she hears everything Umi was saying. “Would you really do that for me?”

 

Umi makes a goofy grin, her flushed face and messy hair reminds Kotori that Umi was still drunk and would probably forget this conversation (and kiss) happened. “Of course I’d do it Kotori, I love you.”

 

Kotori freezes and blinks in surprise. She doesn’t even have the time to ask Umi because she’d already rolled to the side facing the wall and quickly fell asleep. Kotori wasn’t upset though, she knew better than to interpret her friend’s words in anything other than platonic. Umi’s mind was just a bit foggy from drinking too much liquor, that was all.

 

Rubbing the tears welling up in her eyes and smiling to herself, she pats Umi’s head before leaving the room.  

 

“I love you too, dummy.”

 


End file.
